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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 388595" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Thank you all for your support and comments. I find it so helpful to get others' perspectives. difficult child 1 called me last night and apologized for the things he said on Thursday. He sounded low and said things were bad with his girlfriend; that she had been</p><p>upset and hysterical and he wasn't able to deal with it, so was shutting himself in his room. He didn't have any insight into why she was so upset. She had texted me earlier telling me that she was crying constantly and very hurt that difficult child 1 wasn't supporting and hugging her the way she does him.</p><p>I think this last several days have been something she hasn't seen with difficult child 1 before. He does withdraw and blame others when he's in bad shape. He told me last night that he won't call crisis team at any time because he doesn't trust 'the system';</p><p>he doesn't trust them not to arrive with police and just arrest him and lock him up again, and he knows a 'crisis call' would then be on his record. His bad experience in college, when the campus police turned a check on his wellbeing into a</p><p>nightmare of threats, intimidation, illegal searches, and interrogation without benefit of counsel, has made him permanently distrustful of reaching out for help. I can't reassure him because, frankly, I don't trust the system anymore either. </p><p></p><p>He did say he would like to come by tomorrow because he got a letter from social services and doesn't understand it. He is an adult but he seriously does need ongoing help with many things. I told him that, if I hear from him in the morning, I'll stay home and help him; if I don't hear from him by a certain time I'll go out and run errands. I gave him advice about stepping down off the Ativan</p><p>and I hope he takes it (the advice). In the meantime I'm saying the Serenity Prayer - a lot.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 388595, member: 2884"] Thank you all for your support and comments. I find it so helpful to get others' perspectives. difficult child 1 called me last night and apologized for the things he said on Thursday. He sounded low and said things were bad with his girlfriend; that she had been upset and hysterical and he wasn't able to deal with it, so was shutting himself in his room. He didn't have any insight into why she was so upset. She had texted me earlier telling me that she was crying constantly and very hurt that difficult child 1 wasn't supporting and hugging her the way she does him. I think this last several days have been something she hasn't seen with difficult child 1 before. He does withdraw and blame others when he's in bad shape. He told me last night that he won't call crisis team at any time because he doesn't trust 'the system'; he doesn't trust them not to arrive with police and just arrest him and lock him up again, and he knows a 'crisis call' would then be on his record. His bad experience in college, when the campus police turned a check on his wellbeing into a nightmare of threats, intimidation, illegal searches, and interrogation without benefit of counsel, has made him permanently distrustful of reaching out for help. I can't reassure him because, frankly, I don't trust the system anymore either. He did say he would like to come by tomorrow because he got a letter from social services and doesn't understand it. He is an adult but he seriously does need ongoing help with many things. I told him that, if I hear from him in the morning, I'll stay home and help him; if I don't hear from him by a certain time I'll go out and run errands. I gave him advice about stepping down off the Ativan and I hope he takes it (the advice). In the meantime I'm saying the Serenity Prayer - a lot. [/QUOTE]
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