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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 617017" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Welcome, Hopeful.</p><p></p><p>I am so glad you found us. We have all been through some version of what is happening between you and your child. We know how hard this has been, for both of you. How are you taking care of yourself during this time, Hopeful? </p><p></p><p>************</p><p></p><p>Has your son applied for help through Social Services? Even if he has, it would be a good thing for you to call them yourself. Your son should not be living with you. He has broken the terms of the contract, and it has only been one month. He needs to be on his own.</p><p></p><p>That is the thing you need to devote your energy to making happen, for your son's sake, and for your own. I don't imagine he is proud of the way he is treating you. From what you said (other than the alcohol part) it seems like he is trying to be better than he was. How shaming for him, and how hurtful, for you. Your son needs more help than you can give him right now, Hopeful. Those are just the facts. You both need to go into this with your eyes open. </p><p></p><p>He needs help.</p><p></p><p>This isn't working.</p><p></p><p>No judgment, no blame. Just what needs to come next, for both your sakes.</p><p></p><p>Start with Social Services. Look in the blue Government pages of your phone book. Then, find your county. Dept of Health and Human Services will be listed, there. Just call the first number you come to and tell them your concerns. They will connect you with someone who can give you accurate information about what your options are or are not. You can remain anonymous. Just tell them, when they ask for a name, that you do not want to give your name. They will help you, anyway.</p><p></p><p>There is an organization: NAMI that is a country-wide, volunteer-driven organization of families affected by mental illness. They do free classes for families, to help them understand and cope with the illness of a loved one. They offer peer support groups for those experiencing a mental illness. They do weekly support meetings. </p><p></p><p>NAMI is a wealth of information and compassion. </p><p></p><p>There are local chapters throughout the United States. There may be one in your city. On their sites, you will find information relative to the various diagnoses.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there, Hopeful. I know you love your son. You will find your way through this. It will probably continue to be so hard. Post as often as you are able. It helps so much to post.</p><p></p><p>AH! One more thing, Hopeful. Unless your sister is willing to take your son in, you will need to learn to 1)expect this kind of thinking from family and 2) learn to disregard it. No one who has not been through this can begin to have a clue about what we go through, how much we love our troubled kids, how desperate we are to help them. Sister does not understand. That is okay. But try not to take what she says to heart. She is one of the fortunate ones who has not had to live through what you and your son are living through, now.</p><p></p><p>Here on the site, we are all living through it, but that's okay. Our kids are worth it, we are worth it, and we are all going to be just fine, one way or the other.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 617017, member: 17461"] Welcome, Hopeful. I am so glad you found us. We have all been through some version of what is happening between you and your child. We know how hard this has been, for both of you. How are you taking care of yourself during this time, Hopeful? ************ Has your son applied for help through Social Services? Even if he has, it would be a good thing for you to call them yourself. Your son should not be living with you. He has broken the terms of the contract, and it has only been one month. He needs to be on his own. That is the thing you need to devote your energy to making happen, for your son's sake, and for your own. I don't imagine he is proud of the way he is treating you. From what you said (other than the alcohol part) it seems like he is trying to be better than he was. How shaming for him, and how hurtful, for you. Your son needs more help than you can give him right now, Hopeful. Those are just the facts. You both need to go into this with your eyes open. He needs help. This isn't working. No judgment, no blame. Just what needs to come next, for both your sakes. Start with Social Services. Look in the blue Government pages of your phone book. Then, find your county. Dept of Health and Human Services will be listed, there. Just call the first number you come to and tell them your concerns. They will connect you with someone who can give you accurate information about what your options are or are not. You can remain anonymous. Just tell them, when they ask for a name, that you do not want to give your name. They will help you, anyway. There is an organization: NAMI that is a country-wide, volunteer-driven organization of families affected by mental illness. They do free classes for families, to help them understand and cope with the illness of a loved one. They offer peer support groups for those experiencing a mental illness. They do weekly support meetings. NAMI is a wealth of information and compassion. There are local chapters throughout the United States. There may be one in your city. On their sites, you will find information relative to the various diagnoses. Hang in there, Hopeful. I know you love your son. You will find your way through this. It will probably continue to be so hard. Post as often as you are able. It helps so much to post. AH! One more thing, Hopeful. Unless your sister is willing to take your son in, you will need to learn to 1)expect this kind of thinking from family and 2) learn to disregard it. No one who has not been through this can begin to have a clue about what we go through, how much we love our troubled kids, how desperate we are to help them. Sister does not understand. That is okay. But try not to take what she says to heart. She is one of the fortunate ones who has not had to live through what you and your son are living through, now. Here on the site, we are all living through it, but that's okay. Our kids are worth it, we are worth it, and we are all going to be just fine, one way or the other. :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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