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BDP daughter wants to her & I to go family therapy
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 658581" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Billy,</p><p>Your daughter has quite a bit of misplaced anger. It is not uncommon for children to act out when their is a divorce and many times they will choose a side. In your case your daughter chose to blame you. You did the best you could in a difficult situation. You were dealing with your own emotions of your marriage falling apart plus you had children that you had to be there for. There is no right or wrong, I'm sure you made mistakes just like the rest of us have. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. It simply is what it is.</p><p></p><p>So many times when there is a trauma in our lives we can get stuck there. Your daughter is stuck in the past, she is continuing to hold onto the anger she felt towards you, continuing to blame you and yet when she needs a babysitter you are on speed dial.</p><p></p><p>When she says ugly things to you just remember it's her emotions that are talking. She has a hurt deep down inside of her that she has never dealt with in a healthy way. Your daughter did not have an ideal childhood. All I can say to that is get in line sweetie, there are many like you. She is an adult now and can make the choice for herself to continue looking back into the past or to live in the present time. Each day we get a brand new start. You can't live in the past and present at the same time. The past holds no power over us unless we give it power.</p><p></p><p>It's really unclear what her motivation was in suggesting family counseling. I think if she will agree to go it would help you both. I also think it would be good for you to do individual therapy.</p><p></p><p>Be completely honest, lay all your cards on the table. The only way a therapist can really help is if they have the most complete picture of your life.</p><p></p><p>Billy, I do hope you are doing something good for yourself, it's ok. Go get a pedicure, do some shopping. Do you have a hobby that you no longer do? Do you have a hobby that you would like to start?</p><p></p><p>You cannot change the past, what is done is done. You can only live for today, so make the most of this moment, of this day.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you shared. Stay close to this site. Be good to yourself.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/grouphugg.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":grouphugg:" title="grouphugg :grouphugg:" data-shortname=":grouphugg:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 658581, member: 18516"] Hi Billy, Your daughter has quite a bit of misplaced anger. It is not uncommon for children to act out when their is a divorce and many times they will choose a side. In your case your daughter chose to blame you. You did the best you could in a difficult situation. You were dealing with your own emotions of your marriage falling apart plus you had children that you had to be there for. There is no right or wrong, I'm sure you made mistakes just like the rest of us have. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. It simply is what it is. So many times when there is a trauma in our lives we can get stuck there. Your daughter is stuck in the past, she is continuing to hold onto the anger she felt towards you, continuing to blame you and yet when she needs a babysitter you are on speed dial. When she says ugly things to you just remember it's her emotions that are talking. She has a hurt deep down inside of her that she has never dealt with in a healthy way. Your daughter did not have an ideal childhood. All I can say to that is get in line sweetie, there are many like you. She is an adult now and can make the choice for herself to continue looking back into the past or to live in the present time. Each day we get a brand new start. You can't live in the past and present at the same time. The past holds no power over us unless we give it power. It's really unclear what her motivation was in suggesting family counseling. I think if she will agree to go it would help you both. I also think it would be good for you to do individual therapy. Be completely honest, lay all your cards on the table. The only way a therapist can really help is if they have the most complete picture of your life. Billy, I do hope you are doing something good for yourself, it's ok. Go get a pedicure, do some shopping. Do you have a hobby that you no longer do? Do you have a hobby that you would like to start? You cannot change the past, what is done is done. You can only live for today, so make the most of this moment, of this day. I'm glad you shared. Stay close to this site. Be good to yourself. :grouphugg: [/QUOTE]
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BDP daughter wants to her & I to go family therapy
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