Been a while since I last posted as I have been unable to walk from painful joints. BPDaughter has been texting every now & then to see if I'm ok yet only visited for me to look after grand daughter. She actually sent flowers but not once did she do any shopping for me or ask if I needed anything. I found out that a few times she was literally 5 minutes away seeing other people but didn't even bother to drop by to see me as she's always "busy". Last week I had the baby overnight then I took her back. Daughter was cold & indifferent towards me more than usual. I asked if she was ok & was told that she really didn't want to have a relationship with me. She did say that she has a lot to say to me & that I was horrible to her when she was younger & that her brother & sister agree that I singled her out! I was shocked. She then said that she wanted her younger sister to mediate. I stood my ground & said I would go see a family therapist but only if its with a professional objective person. She said some nasty things & I was visibly shaken. I am estranged from my mum not by choice & I still wish I had her in my life & I forgave her for the physical & emotional abuse I suffered. I told my daughter that I made mistakes & was sorry but I was not like my mum yet I could forgive her. She said she could never feel that way & didn't want me in her life. So why go to mediation? I agreed & found someone like she asked yet she has cancelled 3 times so far. I think she didn't expect me to agree. She thinks that she spout her vicious lies & I will have to say sorry & it will be ok. Don't think it will work out the way she wants. I admit that I found her hard to cope with when her Dad left she was 12 years old & hated me. I had 3 kids she hated me, my son was depressed & my youngest was unwell in and out of hospital their Dad left after an affair. Was absent & she blamed me. I was down & found it hard to cope especially eith her rudeness, swearing at me, physically pushing me around, causing trouble in the house, disruptive stealing from me. Stealing from her sister. Staying out all night, getting in trouble at school. It was so hard. She was suffering & angry because R her Dad left yet she was angry with me. She hated me & told me she wished I was dead. Iam a human being too and I did my best. I'm so worried & sick about the Family therapist. I don't know what to say. My daughter is doing her usual not talking to me but I know she will if she needs a babysitter. She even accused me of not really wanting my grand daughter whom I so obviously adore! I have her overnight quite frequently! I made her take that back. She doesnt remember any of the good stuff in her childhood. I so hope the therapist can help us get to a better place. I know that I refuse to lie prostrate on the floor and just get verbally abused by my daughter. I deserve better. I Feel sick all the time. Problem is when she starts I just want to cry as the things she says are so untrue & nasty. She is emotionless when she says things to me & is so cold it hurts too much! What do I say to the therapist? I'm so ambivalent about it.