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BDP daughter wants to her & I to go family therapy
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 658645" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm answering on my cell phone so expect a few typos. Sometimes it even changes the words I type. So I hope u can read this...lol.</p><p></p><p>Yep u r being too sensitive. People like us with family members who are mean and like to bait us and hurt us either get tough skin and change our outlook or the person who wants to hurt us will do so over and over again we need to stop our expectations that they will be caring and loving and take a hard look at who they are and what that means to u.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is a mean person. It's not illegal to be mean sou can't change that. She wants to hurt u. That's not illegal either and it goes along with not being nice. She has graNdchild and u claim she is a good mother. I kind of doubt this looking at her older kids but you can't call c p s without proof of abuse. They won't do anything. It is not ur right to be able to see your graNdchild and this daughter wants to hurt you.She will be nice at times to give hope then suddenly pull away. That is what mean people do. They play games with ur head and you either keep playing along and get hurt or stop playing.</p><p></p><p>She will keep coming back and leaving. The best things can do for yourself is to expect her to be hurtful, admit that sadlybecause of how she is u will not see ur graNdchild on ur terms. She may stop u from seeing him i be day and tell him u r a bad person. What can u do?</p><p></p><p>To me the only sane thing is to detach with love. Read the article on detachment on the top of this page. Be good to yourself. Stop expecting your daughter to change. She is giving you minimal niceness before she moves in for another kill. She is incapable of a long term healthy normal relationship with anyone. But she loves the mind games. Trust me, if they go and come back and go and come back, this will not stop. Nice/not nice/nice/accusations you are bad/back again when THEY want/you're gone when they decide to hurt you again. Been there, done that, wore the t-shirt...it will not get better. It won't stop.</p><p></p><p>Focus on yourself. You have another child and graNdchild if u want to love on a graNdchild. Don't make it ur whole life. Get good therapy that u can afford to keep attending. Go out and work or volunteer or work out or do all the things love to do.</p><p></p><p>I have had to let go of people and move on. It hurts at first especially if it is because u withdrew either completely or partially because they really rejected u first. U will feel like bad and unworthy and most of all wonder why you are so terrible that she seems to disregard your feelings entirely.</p><p></p><p>You have to stay grounded in reality. Ur other daughter sees you differently. Your friends and other family members love you. Don't let her destroy u even if she brings others in or tried to. That is on her, not u. Anyone who jumps on her train isn't really your friend anyway.</p><p></p><p>Stand tall, chin up! Backtracking what this daughter is doing and move on. Yes, I know you love your grANdchild but you can't force her to let you see him. If you can't control it, move on to loving yourself and doing what is best for you. In time you will be much stronger and the hurt will either be gone or be much less. Distance gives you perspective. Just because your daughter says things about you doesn't make them true even if she really believes herself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 658645, member: 1550"] I'm answering on my cell phone so expect a few typos. Sometimes it even changes the words I type. So I hope u can read this...lol. Yep u r being too sensitive. People like us with family members who are mean and like to bait us and hurt us either get tough skin and change our outlook or the person who wants to hurt us will do so over and over again we need to stop our expectations that they will be caring and loving and take a hard look at who they are and what that means to u. Your daughter is a mean person. It's not illegal to be mean sou can't change that. She wants to hurt u. That's not illegal either and it goes along with not being nice. She has graNdchild and u claim she is a good mother. I kind of doubt this looking at her older kids but you can't call c p s without proof of abuse. They won't do anything. It is not ur right to be able to see your graNdchild and this daughter wants to hurt you.She will be nice at times to give hope then suddenly pull away. That is what mean people do. They play games with ur head and you either keep playing along and get hurt or stop playing. She will keep coming back and leaving. The best things can do for yourself is to expect her to be hurtful, admit that sadlybecause of how she is u will not see ur graNdchild on ur terms. She may stop u from seeing him i be day and tell him u r a bad person. What can u do? To me the only sane thing is to detach with love. Read the article on detachment on the top of this page. Be good to yourself. Stop expecting your daughter to change. She is giving you minimal niceness before she moves in for another kill. She is incapable of a long term healthy normal relationship with anyone. But she loves the mind games. Trust me, if they go and come back and go and come back, this will not stop. Nice/not nice/nice/accusations you are bad/back again when THEY want/you're gone when they decide to hurt you again. Been there, done that, wore the t-shirt...it will not get better. It won't stop. Focus on yourself. You have another child and graNdchild if u want to love on a graNdchild. Don't make it ur whole life. Get good therapy that u can afford to keep attending. Go out and work or volunteer or work out or do all the things love to do. I have had to let go of people and move on. It hurts at first especially if it is because u withdrew either completely or partially because they really rejected u first. U will feel like bad and unworthy and most of all wonder why you are so terrible that she seems to disregard your feelings entirely. You have to stay grounded in reality. Ur other daughter sees you differently. Your friends and other family members love you. Don't let her destroy u even if she brings others in or tried to. That is on her, not u. Anyone who jumps on her train isn't really your friend anyway. Stand tall, chin up! Backtracking what this daughter is doing and move on. Yes, I know you love your grANdchild but you can't force her to let you see him. If you can't control it, move on to loving yourself and doing what is best for you. In time you will be much stronger and the hurt will either be gone or be much less. Distance gives you perspective. Just because your daughter says things about you doesn't make them true even if she really believes herself. [/QUOTE]
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BDP daughter wants to her & I to go family therapy
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