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BDP daughter wants to her & I to go family therapy
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 660173" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I see so many good things happening for you now, lioness. I was so pleased to read that you are taking care of yourself, that you realize you have been isolating, that you miss laughter and flexibility and generosity in your life.</p><p></p><p>I loved reading those things, actually.</p><p></p><p>Regarding your daughter, and the toddler's birthday party.</p><p></p><p>You cannot go, lioness. In my opinion, you need to take yourself out of the game. Trust that the child will come to love you; know that you will always love her, however this plays out in the present.</p><p></p><p>Take that weapon out of your daughter's hands. </p><p></p><p>For now, in my opinion, you have done all the right things and your daughter has shown her true colors.</p><p></p><p>Believe her, Lioness.</p><p></p><p>Love your grand from a distance if that is what is required of you, now. </p><p></p><p>Please remove yourself from the situation.</p><p></p><p>When you do, I believe your daughter will re-engage with you. She enjoys this game, I think, Lioness.</p><p></p><p>I was not surprised to learn that your daughter did not pay for her portion of therapy. I am pleased that you did not pay for her. </p><p></p><p>I love that you did not pay for her.</p><p></p><p>I was not surprised to learn that your daughter used the opportunity of therapy to hate you in front of a witness. I did not believe she would use this golden opportunity for any other purpose.</p><p></p><p>It is not your fault that your child says or does or chooses to believe as she does, Lioness. Believe the words she says to you are the words she means to say. Respond accordingly. Please do not force yourself to sacrifice anymore of yourself for the benefit of someone who will see even that noble act with hatred and derision. </p><p></p><p>We need not to feed or enable hatred, Lioness. My sincere hope for you is that you will again find those places in your life where there were friends, and generous laughter, and where you were able to cherish yourself.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is determined to hurt you. She has made this excruciatingly clear to you. She believed a therapist would validate her position because she believes it so strongly herself.</p><p></p><p>But she was wrong, Lioness.</p><p></p><p>That is the priceless beginning piece of your freedom from your daughter's hatred that you learned, in therapy.</p><p></p><p>Is it possible for you to continue to see this therapist yourself? I hope you never pay your daughter's portion of that therapy appointment, Lioness. If you do see this therapist on your own, please make that very clear from the beginning.</p><p></p><p>You are doing well, Lioness. I am sorry your daughter is behaving as she is. None of this is your fault. Your daughter is whining and blaming when what she needs to do is stand up.</p><p></p><p>Other than refusing to enable Lioness, you cannot help her do that, and you cannot do that for her.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 660173, member: 17461"] I see so many good things happening for you now, lioness. I was so pleased to read that you are taking care of yourself, that you realize you have been isolating, that you miss laughter and flexibility and generosity in your life. I loved reading those things, actually. Regarding your daughter, and the toddler's birthday party. You cannot go, lioness. In my opinion, you need to take yourself out of the game. Trust that the child will come to love you; know that you will always love her, however this plays out in the present. Take that weapon out of your daughter's hands. For now, in my opinion, you have done all the right things and your daughter has shown her true colors. Believe her, Lioness. Love your grand from a distance if that is what is required of you, now. Please remove yourself from the situation. When you do, I believe your daughter will re-engage with you. She enjoys this game, I think, Lioness. I was not surprised to learn that your daughter did not pay for her portion of therapy. I am pleased that you did not pay for her. I love that you did not pay for her. I was not surprised to learn that your daughter used the opportunity of therapy to hate you in front of a witness. I did not believe she would use this golden opportunity for any other purpose. It is not your fault that your child says or does or chooses to believe as she does, Lioness. Believe the words she says to you are the words she means to say. Respond accordingly. Please do not force yourself to sacrifice anymore of yourself for the benefit of someone who will see even that noble act with hatred and derision. We need not to feed or enable hatred, Lioness. My sincere hope for you is that you will again find those places in your life where there were friends, and generous laughter, and where you were able to cherish yourself. Your daughter is determined to hurt you. She has made this excruciatingly clear to you. She believed a therapist would validate her position because she believes it so strongly herself. But she was wrong, Lioness. That is the priceless beginning piece of your freedom from your daughter's hatred that you learned, in therapy. Is it possible for you to continue to see this therapist yourself? I hope you never pay your daughter's portion of that therapy appointment, Lioness. If you do see this therapist on your own, please make that very clear from the beginning. You are doing well, Lioness. I am sorry your daughter is behaving as she is. None of this is your fault. Your daughter is whining and blaming when what she needs to do is stand up. Other than refusing to enable Lioness, you cannot help her do that, and you cannot do that for her. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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BDP daughter wants to her & I to go family therapy
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