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Beating my head against the wall...
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 479636"><p>Oh I feel confused!!! Picked my difficult child up from the airport tonight. He gave me a good hug and he looks good. Hes gained a bit of weight so now is about 160 (5' 11") which is good. At the worst point he was down to 120. His attitude seemed good, he felt sober to me... not just in the moment but in general. I asked him what he was doing tonight and he is getting together with a couple of friends... I made some comment about not getting in trouble and he agreed in a way that seems like he has thought about it. So I felt better about that too.</p><p></p><p>I asked him about the spice and he gave me a story.... to be honest when I think about it not totally believable. I keep thinking of what someone said about how you know addicts are lying!!! So I really don't quite believe him and he is basically denying it.... he did say quite emphatically that he hadn't used anything and his clean date hasn't changed. He was convincing, but then he always is. </p><p></p><p>A part of me feels bad that I always assume when someone tells me about something bad he has done I tend to believe them without question... and then I hear his side of the story and he is convincing and then I am not sure. Usually the truth is somewhere imbetween. There certainly have been many a time when he has not told me the whole truth.</p><p></p><p>The thing is it is so hard to directly confront him when he is not admitting anything and in fact sounding convincing that he has kept his sobriety. So I end up feeling confused. I guess my gut instinct, from lots of experience is that he is lying at least to some extent. </p><p></p><p>But he looks good, still seems to be planning to fly back tomorrow. He wants to change sober houses and his reasons are good ones that make sense. I did tell him that he needs to do it smoothly and have the current folks agree and he did not seem to have a problem with that.</p><p></p><p>So we shall see what tomorrow will bring. Hopefully he will look good tomorrow and not look hung over!!!</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 479636"] Oh I feel confused!!! Picked my difficult child up from the airport tonight. He gave me a good hug and he looks good. Hes gained a bit of weight so now is about 160 (5' 11") which is good. At the worst point he was down to 120. His attitude seemed good, he felt sober to me... not just in the moment but in general. I asked him what he was doing tonight and he is getting together with a couple of friends... I made some comment about not getting in trouble and he agreed in a way that seems like he has thought about it. So I felt better about that too. I asked him about the spice and he gave me a story.... to be honest when I think about it not totally believable. I keep thinking of what someone said about how you know addicts are lying!!! So I really don't quite believe him and he is basically denying it.... he did say quite emphatically that he hadn't used anything and his clean date hasn't changed. He was convincing, but then he always is. A part of me feels bad that I always assume when someone tells me about something bad he has done I tend to believe them without question... and then I hear his side of the story and he is convincing and then I am not sure. Usually the truth is somewhere imbetween. There certainly have been many a time when he has not told me the whole truth. The thing is it is so hard to directly confront him when he is not admitting anything and in fact sounding convincing that he has kept his sobriety. So I end up feeling confused. I guess my gut instinct, from lots of experience is that he is lying at least to some extent. But he looks good, still seems to be planning to fly back tomorrow. He wants to change sober houses and his reasons are good ones that make sense. I did tell him that he needs to do it smoothly and have the current folks agree and he did not seem to have a problem with that. So we shall see what tomorrow will bring. Hopefully he will look good tomorrow and not look hung over!!! TL [/QUOTE]
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