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Been a long time.... things are still bad unfortunately!
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<blockquote data-quote="Winnielg" data-source="post: 601116" data-attributes="member: 16059"><p>Thank you EVERYONE!</p><p></p><p>Busywend - we are both trying to put things in place so eventually we can be totally out of all and MAYBE have a nice interaction once in awhile. </p><p></p><p>Dazed - Sorry - I know how scary the 17 to 18 shift can be! My husband and I are both in strong agreement he is not ever coming back to live with us. I feel even more strongly about it now that he is gone. I agree with you about "<span style="color: #000000">If he ends up being homeless, it will ultimately be from his choices.", but I fear my husband is starting to slip a bit on that and will want to continue to financially support him, to which I am opposed. I am working on getting him on Medicaid and SSi so that he will have an income, so to speak. Also working on getting someone else to be the payee - in other words NOT US!</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #000000">Scent of Cedar - yes - we have spoken about the time limit idea - but I like the way you put it - will have to maybe try that! He is not really speaking to us at all right now except to curse or shout. But we did tell him once he shows the service provider he can do something (mastered it, so to speak) then they will not try to help him with that specific task. Honestly we have hardly called him, knowing he will not respond and therefore violate the safety agreement, trying to wait out the beginning bumps. But the bumps have turned into mountains and now the service providers are considering him an at-risk young adult in the community. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000">Recoveringenabler - we are going to talk to difficult children spectrum therapist next week so we can better understand expectations, what our role should be moving forward, time frame, etc. And hopefully so my husband understands that if difficult child should refuse all help offered he might end up homeless and there is little we can really do. It is ironic - before difficult child was out my husband was more definite about things than me - but now he is like "well I cannot make him homeless" to which I respond, you, and we would not - only difficult child can make that happen!</span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000">We assume if he keeps monkeying with his medications he will end up getting into trouble with the law in community and possibly be committed to psychiatric ward.</span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000">Thank you for the article on detachment - going to print that out and share with hubby.</span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000">And again - thank you guys so much. I know how hard everyone has it and it has been a tremendous support over the last few months, since I found this site, to read of others struggles and to know we are not alone. Our family and friends really just do not 'get it' and I feel like they must think we are nuts sometimes. I think you can never really understand it until you live it - and no one really wants to live it!</span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/smile.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":smile:" title="smile :smile:" data-shortname=":smile:" /></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Winnielg, post: 601116, member: 16059"] Thank you EVERYONE! Busywend - we are both trying to put things in place so eventually we can be totally out of all and MAYBE have a nice interaction once in awhile. Dazed - Sorry - I know how scary the 17 to 18 shift can be! My husband and I are both in strong agreement he is not ever coming back to live with us. I feel even more strongly about it now that he is gone. I agree with you about "[COLOR=#000000]If he ends up being homeless, it will ultimately be from his choices.", but I fear my husband is starting to slip a bit on that and will want to continue to financially support him, to which I am opposed. I am working on getting him on Medicaid and SSi so that he will have an income, so to speak. Also working on getting someone else to be the payee - in other words NOT US![/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]Scent of Cedar - yes - we have spoken about the time limit idea - but I like the way you put it - will have to maybe try that! He is not really speaking to us at all right now except to curse or shout. But we did tell him once he shows the service provider he can do something (mastered it, so to speak) then they will not try to help him with that specific task. Honestly we have hardly called him, knowing he will not respond and therefore violate the safety agreement, trying to wait out the beginning bumps. But the bumps have turned into mountains and now the service providers are considering him an at-risk young adult in the community. Recoveringenabler - we are going to talk to difficult children spectrum therapist next week so we can better understand expectations, what our role should be moving forward, time frame, etc. And hopefully so my husband understands that if difficult child should refuse all help offered he might end up homeless and there is little we can really do. It is ironic - before difficult child was out my husband was more definite about things than me - but now he is like "well I cannot make him homeless" to which I respond, you, and we would not - only difficult child can make that happen! We assume if he keeps monkeying with his medications he will end up getting into trouble with the law in community and possibly be committed to psychiatric ward. Thank you for the article on detachment - going to print that out and share with hubby. And again - thank you guys so much. I know how hard everyone has it and it has been a tremendous support over the last few months, since I found this site, to read of others struggles and to know we are not alone. Our family and friends really just do not 'get it' and I feel like they must think we are nuts sometimes. I think you can never really understand it until you live it - and no one really wants to live it! :smile: [/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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