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<blockquote data-quote="bluebell" data-source="post: 691395" data-attributes="member: 16761"><p>Thank you childofmine. I remember you from the last time I was here, and if we go back and look at the history, I'm sure you helped me then. It is so true about family. My sister in law took my son when he was 15 to help on their farm during a school expulsion and I asked them to do it again a couple of years later and that text went unanswered. My dad told me I was enabling him a couple of weeks ago and then yesterday sent me a text asking me if it's ok if he asks him to come over and wash windows - for money of course! Well well - look who else is enabling! I have estranged my father and brother for years at at time over my son's issues. I don't even bring it up anymore. </p><p></p><p>Yes, I'm tired. This sucks. We wrote the letters, wrote out the contracts, etc etc etc as well. I don't think other parents have to do that with normal kids. I don't have to do that with my daughter, although she is not perfect - but compared to him she is an angel. She records his frantic interactions with me - the ones where he's asking for money - I say no - and he calls me a POS, other names and he always asks 'What is your problem?' in that hateful way. I hear myself - I'm calm now - I'm used to this - as if anyone should ever get used to that kind of verbal abuse. I tell him not to focus on my problems, but let's work on his. She knows this is wrong, she knows my mother died when I was young and thinks that he will regret this later in life. I'm not so sure. </p><p></p><p>He came in today and had gotten his haircut. Its been long and unkempt for some time now and he got a 'grown up' haircut. He is so handsome, it just took my breath away. I could see his face better, the sweet face of his boyhood. I can't take much hope or solace from this, as I know hair grows back and it's just a small but necessary step in finding another job, but sometimes it is the small things that help you get thru the day. Just like hearing from all of you who know my pain too well. Thank you so much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bluebell, post: 691395, member: 16761"] Thank you childofmine. I remember you from the last time I was here, and if we go back and look at the history, I'm sure you helped me then. It is so true about family. My sister in law took my son when he was 15 to help on their farm during a school expulsion and I asked them to do it again a couple of years later and that text went unanswered. My dad told me I was enabling him a couple of weeks ago and then yesterday sent me a text asking me if it's ok if he asks him to come over and wash windows - for money of course! Well well - look who else is enabling! I have estranged my father and brother for years at at time over my son's issues. I don't even bring it up anymore. Yes, I'm tired. This sucks. We wrote the letters, wrote out the contracts, etc etc etc as well. I don't think other parents have to do that with normal kids. I don't have to do that with my daughter, although she is not perfect - but compared to him she is an angel. She records his frantic interactions with me - the ones where he's asking for money - I say no - and he calls me a POS, other names and he always asks 'What is your problem?' in that hateful way. I hear myself - I'm calm now - I'm used to this - as if anyone should ever get used to that kind of verbal abuse. I tell him not to focus on my problems, but let's work on his. She knows this is wrong, she knows my mother died when I was young and thinks that he will regret this later in life. I'm not so sure. He came in today and had gotten his haircut. Its been long and unkempt for some time now and he got a 'grown up' haircut. He is so handsome, it just took my breath away. I could see his face better, the sweet face of his boyhood. I can't take much hope or solace from this, as I know hair grows back and it's just a small but necessary step in finding another job, but sometimes it is the small things that help you get thru the day. Just like hearing from all of you who know my pain too well. Thank you so much. [/QUOTE]
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