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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 267037" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I can actually feel my face getting hot having just read this post. I have been there done that with M, and with L as well. L had half of her high school teachers convinced that I was the cause of all of her problems, and she hadn't been to visit us in months. Dad who never came home and had five different girlfriends that year was a saint, but I was trash, apparently. Imagine the surprise I got when I called to find out how she was doing in school, and had the nerve to be upset when she had been absent the past 52 days, only to hear that the guidance counselor was frightened of me and wouldn't talk to me. Big surprise she dropped out of school a few weeks later. L may not have been 21, but she was making her own decisions, and there wasn't a darn thing I could do to change that. All you can do is step back and hope they don't mess it up too badly on their own.</p><p></p><p>And with M, he went and moved in with some stranger, and we told her "He'll take advantage, he won't work, he won't go to school, and if his lips are moving, he's lying." What kind of a mom was I, anyway? That one was a hum-dinger, she put up with him for 18 months. Then she screamed at me for having forced him to live in her home. Huh? They <em>all</em> see such simple little solutions to the problems, and when it doesn't work for them they want to believe that it's someone else's fault because they don't want to admit that they got inhaled into some kid's drama.</p><p></p><p>Don't rent this guy space in your head. He is involved with your difficult child now, and he will have to take the crash-course on co-dependency himself. I know it hurts. I'm sorry you have to go through this, it must have been a lousy day. You did well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 267037, member: 99"] I can actually feel my face getting hot having just read this post. I have been there done that with M, and with L as well. L had half of her high school teachers convinced that I was the cause of all of her problems, and she hadn't been to visit us in months. Dad who never came home and had five different girlfriends that year was a saint, but I was trash, apparently. Imagine the surprise I got when I called to find out how she was doing in school, and had the nerve to be upset when she had been absent the past 52 days, only to hear that the guidance counselor was frightened of me and wouldn't talk to me. Big surprise she dropped out of school a few weeks later. L may not have been 21, but she was making her own decisions, and there wasn't a darn thing I could do to change that. All you can do is step back and hope they don't mess it up too badly on their own. And with M, he went and moved in with some stranger, and we told her "He'll take advantage, he won't work, he won't go to school, and if his lips are moving, he's lying." What kind of a mom was I, anyway? That one was a hum-dinger, she put up with him for 18 months. Then she screamed at me for having forced him to live in her home. Huh? They [I]all[/I] see such simple little solutions to the problems, and when it doesn't work for them they want to believe that it's someone else's fault because they don't want to admit that they got inhaled into some kid's drama. Don't rent this guy space in your head. He is involved with your difficult child now, and he will have to take the crash-course on co-dependency himself. I know it hurts. I'm sorry you have to go through this, it must have been a lousy day. You did well. [/QUOTE]
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