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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Been here before. Looking for some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 739723" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>There may come a time when kicking her out may be your only option. But i would have a hard time at 19 also. Especially if the problem is more anxiety than defiance, violence or substance abuse. I wonder if she doesn’t have some depression she’s not acknowledging, too. That can destroy motivation. </p><p></p><p>Are you paying for this school? Can you get your money back if she just refuses to go? </p><p></p><p>What else are you providing for her? Allowance? Phone? Internet access? Anything else that could be cut off? Can you make it less appealing to retreat to her room? </p><p></p><p>I guess at this point you’ll have to wait and see if she steps up for the first week of school. If she’s doesn’t, let her know changes will have to be made, and she’ll need to get a job. There are plenty of jobs out there that don’t take a lot of skill or training. Retail. Restaurants. Perhaps you can give her a minimum number of hours she needs to work each week to maintain access to her phone or household Wi-Fi? I know at this point we can’t really ‘make’ them do anything, but we can make things less comfortable for them when they choose not to. </p><p></p><p>Hopefully, she’ll surprise you this week and get herself to school. If not, you’ll ha e some hard choices to make. At 19, she’s got a lot of growing up to do, but she also hasn’t lost too much time yet. If she can start making baby steps forward she may find it’s not as hard as her brain is telling her right now. Wishing you the best this week!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 739723, member: 23349"] There may come a time when kicking her out may be your only option. But i would have a hard time at 19 also. Especially if the problem is more anxiety than defiance, violence or substance abuse. I wonder if she doesn’t have some depression she’s not acknowledging, too. That can destroy motivation. Are you paying for this school? Can you get your money back if she just refuses to go? What else are you providing for her? Allowance? Phone? Internet access? Anything else that could be cut off? Can you make it less appealing to retreat to her room? I guess at this point you’ll have to wait and see if she steps up for the first week of school. If she’s doesn’t, let her know changes will have to be made, and she’ll need to get a job. There are plenty of jobs out there that don’t take a lot of skill or training. Retail. Restaurants. Perhaps you can give her a minimum number of hours she needs to work each week to maintain access to her phone or household Wi-Fi? I know at this point we can’t really ‘make’ them do anything, but we can make things less comfortable for them when they choose not to. Hopefully, she’ll surprise you this week and get herself to school. If not, you’ll ha e some hard choices to make. At 19, she’s got a lot of growing up to do, but she also hasn’t lost too much time yet. If she can start making baby steps forward she may find it’s not as hard as her brain is telling her right now. Wishing you the best this week! [/QUOTE]
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Been here before. Looking for some advice
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