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Substance Abuse
Beginning of the end?
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 128083" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Mikey,</p><p></p><p>Meowbunny and Jane are giving you excellent advice. </p><p>Right now, nothing you do or say with regard to McWeedy is winning you any points, either with him or with wife. So you need to Step Away.</p><p></p><p>Jane is right. Many women (myself included) need our man to be strong, and that includes being strong with us when we're being unreasonable. At some level, I think your wife is trying to push you hard enough that you push back and draw the line that she's afraid to draw. wife realizes that supporting McWeedy is enabling him, but she just isn't at a place where she's ready to stop.</p><p></p><p>She's undermining all of your efforts, and getting frustrated with you when you try and support her, because she's not really ready to take that step. So...as Meow said, you need to back off and let her deal with it.</p><p></p><p>Don't forget...detach doesn't mean abandon. It means that you're there to love, but you're not there to make someone else's problems your own. McWeedy's problems are his, and your wife's problems are hers. So far, your efforts to take on and fix their problems haven't gotten you very far. If you're going to get grief for it anyway, at least let it be on your terms.</p><p></p><p>I also wonder...given all the McWeedy-and-wife stress and strife that's going on in your house right now, how is Dancer faring? Maybe you should focus your attention on her right now, and leave McWeedy and wife to play out the situation on their terms.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 128083, member: 3907"] Mikey, Meowbunny and Jane are giving you excellent advice. Right now, nothing you do or say with regard to McWeedy is winning you any points, either with him or with wife. So you need to Step Away. Jane is right. Many women (myself included) need our man to be strong, and that includes being strong with us when we're being unreasonable. At some level, I think your wife is trying to push you hard enough that you push back and draw the line that she's afraid to draw. wife realizes that supporting McWeedy is enabling him, but she just isn't at a place where she's ready to stop. She's undermining all of your efforts, and getting frustrated with you when you try and support her, because she's not really ready to take that step. So...as Meow said, you need to back off and let her deal with it. Don't forget...detach doesn't mean abandon. It means that you're there to love, but you're not there to make someone else's problems your own. McWeedy's problems are his, and your wife's problems are hers. So far, your efforts to take on and fix their problems haven't gotten you very far. If you're going to get grief for it anyway, at least let it be on your terms. I also wonder...given all the McWeedy-and-wife stress and strife that's going on in your house right now, how is Dancer faring? Maybe you should focus your attention on her right now, and leave McWeedy and wife to play out the situation on their terms. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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