I adopted a boy who had crack in his system when he was born. If birthmother said YES to crack I am sure she drank too. He also had syphillis.
When a developing babys brain is ecposed to cocaine, meth, alcohol etc in utero their brain will be damaged in some way and you need to get on board with community services for interventions, likt PT, Occupational Therapist (OT), speech, whatever. Let professionals point you in the right direction
The first week we adopted Sonic we took him to a renowned Chicago clinic to see the degree of damage he had incurred and how we could help him overcome his damage from the drugs. You can also go to a neuro psychologist (this is not a neurologist) and have them all intensively evaluated and directed to the right help. The scchools are not equipped to diagnose brain differences due to prenatal drug use. Or what to do about it.
My son does not hsve fetal alcohol effects. He dodged that very terrible bullet. He does have a form of autism. With interventions startimg at birth he got better quickly and is now independent, with just a little community support, at 23. He works part time, handles and pays for his own apartment and and gets some social security. He will be self sufficient when I die and I am relieved.
Dont pretend it will get better. This is brain damage. The sooner you evaluate them to see the degree of damage, the sooner you can get them the proper help. The earlier, I was told, the better the prognosis.
I cant imagine how tired you must be. My son, when young, wore me out and I was only 40. But he was worth it. But it took getting him early services snd staying on top of school to get him to be the calm, sweet, loving and functional young man he is today.
This is beyond discipline it is medical. It is not a psycholigical problem and parenting plans dont work with these expised kids. I admire that you took so much on!! Kudos! Make sure tpu sign up for respite. Do you have any help?
