Behavior Mod...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by devira, Oct 8, 2008.

  1. devira

    devira New Member

    Hi All,

    I met with the Dr yesterday. Because of my son's size and weight, he did not want to make a change in medications. I did not want to increase, just change to see if something worked better...

    He wants me to try a behavior Mod -- program at home. I have been working with my son and his challenges for five + years now. I have not found ANY programs that work. They tend to do great for 48 hours then fail with HUGE explosions everyday thereafter, when he does not achieve what ever goal or incentive he wanted. I have tried 15 minute intervals and entire day and everything in between, i have tried clean cut awards and consequences and flexible consequences... but each time things end up worse. I have also started with a plan that their is no doubt he would be successful everyday, with goals relating to getting out of bed and getting dressed... somehow he still fails...

    I am looking for ANY home management idea that has had success with children who are not motivated by rewards/incentives or has a method of working through the explosive side when the child does not meet the goals set for him.

    We have many serious and minor areas to work through
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Have you read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene? The Positive Discipline books by Jane Nelsen and the Love and Logic series ( are also recommended around here. None is a straight behavior mod program, but all will help you work with your child, not against him.
  3. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    I think we are in the same boat. The medications are not doing all we think they should, we want to try something different altogether, dr wants to increase dose but I am not comfortable with it because he is losing weight. Have you tried working with a therapist on a program? I have read the recommended books which are good and have helped me 'understand' our difficult child better - but we need results. The only thing we have not done is worked extensively with a therapist - but I have my doubts about that too. Maybe it goes back to finding the correct diagnosis and then the right medication for that diagnosis? Have you had a neuropsychologist evaluation done?
  4. devira

    devira New Member

    I am in exactly the same place. We worked with a pshychiatric social worker for a little while, but all it did was eat away at my finances. Our psychiatrist has done a psychiatric evaluation, but he keeps on telling me Ira is too young to label... that he is a unique child and blah blah blah, I wish he could live in my house for a week. OF all the things he does, the urinating on the carpet is really getting to me, my house stinks....
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Hi & welcome.

    I hate the term "label" ~ these are medical diagnosis's! As I recall, the tweedles worst times were between ~ ah, heck they were a handful from the day they were placed with us at the age of 6, until just very recently for kt. wm is still a handful but in a group home.

    I'd like to suggest whatever you use, start small & work up. You cannot change everything in a month. (though most of us would like to ;))

    My children are very stubborn, so we used Love & Logic; the child is given choices that you can live with. Bath or shower, this shirt or a tshirt, toast or cereal for breakfast? From there we built up to clean room or vacuum living room. All of these choices I was there to help them complete until they came of an age where I knew they had it. wm is working at his group home on the same sets of choices & such that he had been learning here at home. (He just takes a bit longer & is one impulsive child).

    Good luck with whatever way you some point medications will have to be addressed whether psychiatrist wants to or not. It's a way of life with growing difficult children.