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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 273260" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>WE had a behaviorist for about a year, paid for by DCF (CPS in some states), and I just loved her. Her take on our situation was that exDH and I parented very well together in a crisis, but couldn't hack the day to day stuff. She was spot on. </p><p> </p><p>She came to all the school meetings, spoke with anyone we wanted her to, and she was big into writing up parenting plans. Problem was, exDH did everything he could to sabotage her, just made it clear he wasn't invested in her ideas and didn't need to bother to make an effort. He just wanted someone to make his kid behave. The kids really liked her at first but then as she became stricter with them, they cooled off.</p><p> </p><p>She said the same stuff to us, that we weren't strict or consistent enough, and when I whined about it she asked me if I wanted to have my youngest kid taken out of my house. That woke me up like being slapped in the face with a dead fish. It was a turning point for me.</p><p> </p><p>All in all, a worthwhile thing. Kept my son out of the psychiatric hospital for the time seh worked with us. Kept me sane. </p><p> </p><p>She was not critical or nasty about my, um, relaxed housekeeping standards, but she did say that my son really craved order and that the kids would respect their home more if I kept it tidier, and got them to help. I cleaned up but it was like pulling teeth to get them to help me. I finally had to tie it to priveleges such as having friends over or getting a ride from me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 273260, member: 5941"] WE had a behaviorist for about a year, paid for by DCF (CPS in some states), and I just loved her. Her take on our situation was that exDH and I parented very well together in a crisis, but couldn't hack the day to day stuff. She was spot on. She came to all the school meetings, spoke with anyone we wanted her to, and she was big into writing up parenting plans. Problem was, exDH did everything he could to sabotage her, just made it clear he wasn't invested in her ideas and didn't need to bother to make an effort. He just wanted someone to make his kid behave. The kids really liked her at first but then as she became stricter with them, they cooled off. She said the same stuff to us, that we weren't strict or consistent enough, and when I whined about it she asked me if I wanted to have my youngest kid taken out of my house. That woke me up like being slapped in the face with a dead fish. It was a turning point for me. All in all, a worthwhile thing. Kept my son out of the psychiatric hospital for the time seh worked with us. Kept me sane. She was not critical or nasty about my, um, relaxed housekeeping standards, but she did say that my son really craved order and that the kids would respect their home more if I kept it tidier, and got them to help. I cleaned up but it was like pulling teeth to get them to help me. I finally had to tie it to priveleges such as having friends over or getting a ride from me. [/QUOTE]
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