Being placed in a program - from the teens viewpoint

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Rotsne, Dec 29, 2008.

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  1. Rotsne

    Rotsne Banned

    OK - They live in the present and may not think what is good for them on long-term basis.

    Last edited: Dec 29, 2008
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Rotnse, I have no idea what your agenda is but you are so out of line in most of your posts it is nauseating. This one takes you right over the top.

    Most of us who sent our kids to RTCs did not and do not do so because it makes life easier for us. We did it to save our kids. How dare you post such rot!

    I have never been this angry with a poster on any forum in my life but I am now. If I thought the mods here would let me, I tell you in far, far stronger terms what I think of you, your posts, your holier-than-thou attitude and your extreme arrogance. Stay in Belgium, I doubt any in America miss you even the slightest.
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I am sure a difficult teen would think the way this adult wrote. Unfortunately it paints a slanted, discolored picture.
    It also minimalizes the work that was done and the pain involved to find a way to raise a child within a family. It minimalizes the damage a difficult child teen does to the siblings, the parents, the extended family. It minimalizes the failures of learning the foundations of educations to survive in the world and it definitely implies that they are the only ones who count and all resources within the family should be at their disposal.

    It is very hurtful to me personally to think someone thinks that sending a child to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is so my family could have it easy. So we aren't embarrassed?!? This poster is trying to inflict that sort of pain. The point is to help them. We are so past embarrassment and sociably acceptable that these are moot points. We love our son and nothing but nothing helped him regain control of his emotional outbursts and total dysfunction.
    Saving him was our priority and if I had to crawl on my knees or sell our home I would have done it. Even to the point of detriment to the rest of the family.
    We will always suffer fall out from the damage a difficult child does but if you are a self absorbed difficult child you only see your anger and not anyone else's suffering. This poster is angry and is trying to get a rise out of adults and make them very defensive. I feel those feelings rising.

    I resent this posters implications and understand everyone has an opinion but this person is not a parent of a difficult child. They have not walked in my shoes. I owe this particular poster no apologies or explanations. I did what I did for the well being of my child. Too bad if they don't like it. They get to raise and be judged when they are parents.
  4. Genny

    Genny Worlds Best Nana

    I too am puzzled as to why you posted this. Yes, difficult child's typically have disordered thinking...that's pretty much a given. My difficult child thought similarly to the person who wrote that rediculous post - until she matured and was able to understand why she was sent to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (several years after the fact). If a child is able to understand the need for such a program and is raring to go voluntarily then chances are they'll comply with an in-home program and don't need Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in the first place. In our case it was a matter of saving difficult child from herself and getting her to the point where she could make less self-destructive choices. It took a lot of time, effort, and yes - an out-of-home placement - but she made it. I'm proud to say that she's a junior in college and a wonderful, responsible mom. She still doesn't thank us for sending her to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but at least she understands why we made that decision and has thanked us numerous times for never giving up on her. I hope the person who wrote that post gains the same maturity and perspective with time.

  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    This is totally offensive to me. The entire brochure, or whatever it is you are "quoting". Do I require my child get only A's like all good parents do? Is child bringing home b's?

    I can't thing of a single parent here who is thinking of sending a child to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for ANY reason other than current behaviors endangering the lives of ALL family members. Bs are NOT reasons MOST think of for sending a child away.

    Like Fran I would have crawled on my knees in front of Gof and anyone else to ge the help my child needed.

    "Gay Disease"

    I truly have made allownaces for cultural differences in regard to your past post, but THIS post is over the top. I find it offensive, highly so. And I feel sorry for your family. Whatever happened to unconditional love a parent shows to a child? They are not trained monkeys to perform on command, the way you seem to describe the "perfect child" as.

    Whatever your goal on this forum, please be considerate that many will NOT find help nnor haven from ANYONE who is cruel enough to pass this kind of literature around.

    As I understand it, your government as a case worker assigned to your family. The more you post the more I see this as much needed.

    I am terribly offended.
  6. Rotsne

    Rotsne Banned

    Well, I found it on a message board, which are for survivors of programs. The tone is as harsh as it is among the groups on Facebook/Myspace if a single Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is pointed out. It is a discolored picture and maybe the youth think that is as easy decision, but we know that just the thought of accepting that our child should live outside our home a year or more would be hard to accept.

    We went through this phase when our family coach suggested an continuation school to break her social isolation because she was not partying as the other youth but remained at home or at the library after school reading books / playing video-games / watching television BESIDE doing her chores without any problems.

    As it is with community service, continuation schools are a punishment for a crime in our culture and because she wasn't convicted of a crime we fought the decision and won, but had to let her get an implant to protect her against pregnancy from drug rape and find a party environment with alcohol so she could be among peers without being blown to pieces.

    So I understand the sleepless nights and if presenting the debate as it is among students in High School and at colleges means that I offended you, I am sorry.

    Merry Christmas and a happy new year.
  7. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Placing children in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or any other treatment program has got to be one of the most painful experiences a parent goes through. There are many, many parents on this site that have had to go through this. It is extremely emotional, painful and heartwrenching experience.

    As most of our posters have tried to be sensitive to your cultural differences and have been more than kind in posting to you, you should really think more about the way your posts effect the general public on this forum. Most of our members find this hurtful.

    I'm going to lock this.
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