This is the hard part, Copa. I know women older than us who will NEVER get over it. But the fault is never a babies or a childs. I understand that now.
Some of us have living DNA that reminds us of our parents. Our only sane choice is to turn away.
When my sister expected me to thank her for sending me flowers when I was just over brain surgery in ICU (how silly of her), the truth is, I would not have never thanked her anyway, even if I had been fully able. I know her in a way none of you do. My father sent flowers and added her name to it. She never tried to contact me, just my distraught daughter who was in icu with me. I have cut her out of my life for her cruelty and sending flowers thru my father doesn't fix it.She has been so mean to me that I would not have contacted her to thank her. And trust me I haven't heard from her since. Not that this was her. It was my father.
I will never contact her again.
Neither will any of my kids. Each one is aware of how mean she is to me and how little we all mean to her and that won't change. It was her doing and all my kids saw and heard.
That may not be the best way to deal with living DNA that reminds us of our abusive mothers, but it is the onlly solution for me since she will never talk about it, admit she did anything wrong, or admit she has is not the good guy. Which is why I think she sent an update here, although I still think it's weird. If anyone I knew were badly injured, I would never have thought to contact her support board..I'd be too upset. She wasn't.
I deal with her by not dealing with her.
Sometimes we have to make unpleasant choices.
