New Leaf, that is a beautiful song and heartfelt testimony to your hurt in relation to your sister.
I feel this way about my sister, who is younger. I left too. I ceded the field to her.
My mother right before she died said this: When you were still a girl you told me she was like this but I never believed you. What makes her like this, Copa?
And then she smiled ruefully, and I smiled back ruefully.
Where it comes from, I do not know. This will to win.
At root the sense of not enough. Or not being enough. Which fuels:
A sense of entitlement.
Rage for some offense or slight, and the desire for vengeance and need for recompense.
Intrinsic aggression.
Competitiveness.
Strong need for control, to dominate.
Greed or voraciousness.
The lack of insight/Limited self-observation.
Self-absorption.
Pretense and pretentious. Shallowness.
Manipulation. Plotting.
Hoarding for oneself. Materialism.
On the face of it, self-congratulation.
Lack of a sophisticated moral sense.
The sense that she has been victimized by others which justifies retaliation. Unwillingness or inability to see her part.
I do not know. It seems that more than a few of us have such a sibling. Does your sister have more than a few of these characteristics?
COPA
