Thank you New Leaf.It is.
But writing these posts is good for me because I see how far I have come.
When I began on this forum just 6 months ago, I longed for my sister. I started a thread about it and that was when I got to know Cedar and Serenity.
And I also felt very, very hurt, humiliated and ever dirtied by the ways she had treated M and I. I gave her a lot of power over me and I did not know why.
By posting on the FOO threads I took a lot of my power back. I came to see that my sister had never really been a sister to me, had treated me badly and disloyally and was not a person I liked or respected.
I came to see myself as the powerful one. She receded in power and importance in my inner life, as she had in my actual one.
Your relationship with your sister seems more well-rounded, like there is real pleasure and love between you as well as the negative stuff. It also seems like you have the support of your other siblings who see her as you do. That is important to not be alone with this.
In my case, I was the odd man out. I was the target and I was the one who was excluded. Or excluded myself. Or both.
COPA
