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Family of Origin
Being who we are, even if FOO is different and doesn't like it
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 672103" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You hold so much in your heart, by yourself. I wish you could share it with him.</p><p>Very intelligent. Did you tell her you had heard her?</p><p>But she has, Cedar. One daughter used heavy drugs and ran with a gang and M slipped just this week and told me by accident that she called herself a lesbian and had a relationship with a woman.</p><p></p><p>She is now in a conventional relationship and she just had a baby (the little boy that was born blind but is fine now.)</p><p></p><p>And another daughter was with a big time drug dealer who beat her senseless, who when she finally left him, only weighed 80 pounds because he starved her.</p><p></p><p>And what did her parents say? Do not prosecute because he is your children's father.</p><p></p><p>And then he tried to set it up to take the kids with him to Mexico and that was when the parents wanted to borrow 3k from me for an attorney and I said no. What bothered me most of all is this: They called and asked to speak to me, cutting M out of the loop. I was offended.</p><p></p><p>This sister has issues with M.</p><p></p><p>M says that the difference is that the couple conceals all of the problems of their kids *and their own from others <em>and I talk about it</em>. I know I should be selective but when I am worried or I hurt, I seem to be unable to keep it in.</p><p></p><p>I used to (a long time ago) talk to the prisoners too (not patients, lest you think I am unethical. I used to work along side prisoners). I would get good advice.</p><p>My mother was very demanding and scornful but her geiger counter was off. She wanted everything for her, and nothing for anybody else.</p><p></p><p>As long as she was alive her scorn was a white hot poker in me. That as much as any other thing was the thing that kept me away from her. That is what she did to me when she was at the board and care. I cannot say more because it hurts too much to remember.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>Yes. I crumbled.</p><p></p><p>In a sense, I think I felt that my son had become scornful of me. Which is what you said about your son, I believe. And I became absolutely impotent in the face of it. Enraged.</p><p>Yes. Turn it back around.</p><p></p><p>My son began to act like <em>a scornful father to me. It enraged me. And enrages me to even think of it and write it. Where in the world did he divine this very behavior to use against his mother? I am mildly hating him right now.</em></p><p>Yes.</p><p>Well, I think you are stretching it a bit. An opportunity, yes. A gift? I don't know.</p><p>So, so sweet. Elvis Parsley. I wish I can remember the sweet things my grandmother would say. She has been dead almost 40 years. I wish I had written them down as to remember.</p><p>This is courage and strength, not cowardice Cedar. You are picking your time. You are taking control. This is a good thing. Nobody does High Noon at the spur of the moment. They wait for the music.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 672103, member: 18958"] You hold so much in your heart, by yourself. I wish you could share it with him. Very intelligent. Did you tell her you had heard her? But she has, Cedar. One daughter used heavy drugs and ran with a gang and M slipped just this week and told me by accident that she called herself a lesbian and had a relationship with a woman. She is now in a conventional relationship and she just had a baby (the little boy that was born blind but is fine now.) And another daughter was with a big time drug dealer who beat her senseless, who when she finally left him, only weighed 80 pounds because he starved her. And what did her parents say? Do not prosecute because he is your children's father. And then he tried to set it up to take the kids with him to Mexico and that was when the parents wanted to borrow 3k from me for an attorney and I said no. What bothered me most of all is this: They called and asked to speak to me, cutting M out of the loop. I was offended. This sister has issues with M. M says that the difference is that the couple conceals all of the problems of their kids *and their own from others [I]and I talk about it[/I]. I know I should be selective but when I am worried or I hurt, I seem to be unable to keep it in. I used to (a long time ago) talk to the prisoners too (not patients, lest you think I am unethical. I used to work along side prisoners). I would get good advice. My mother was very demanding and scornful but her geiger counter was off. She wanted everything for her, and nothing for anybody else. As long as she was alive her scorn was a white hot poker in me. That as much as any other thing was the thing that kept me away from her. That is what she did to me when she was at the board and care. I cannot say more because it hurts too much to remember. Yes. Yes. I crumbled. In a sense, I think I felt that my son had become scornful of me. Which is what you said about your son, I believe. And I became absolutely impotent in the face of it. Enraged. Yes. Turn it back around. My son began to act like [I]a scornful father to me. It enraged me. And enrages me to even think of it and write it. Where in the world did he divine this very behavior to use against his mother? I am mildly hating him right now.[/I] Yes. Well, I think you are stretching it a bit. An opportunity, yes. A gift? I don't know. So, so sweet. Elvis Parsley. I wish I can remember the sweet things my grandmother would say. She has been dead almost 40 years. I wish I had written them down as to remember. This is courage and strength, not cowardice Cedar. You are picking your time. You are taking control. This is a good thing. Nobody does High Noon at the spur of the moment. They wait for the music. COPA [/QUOTE]
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