I have.
I know, but when was that? How old was he or how long ago was it?
When was that? How long ago?
Yes. It is a form of speed. Bennies, whites were methamphetamine too. It was almost 45 years ago, so what is now is much stronger, and altered, and street made. But it is essentially in the same class as diet pills. Even Ritalin. That is what makes Ritalin dangerous.
Yes.
Of course it is true about my sister. It is that I cannot believe the lack of subtlety, let alone slightly abusive tone, of teaching your children to have contempt for their grandmother and aunt.
I do not think I am in denial. I just cannot believe it. Smile.
Yes. Of course, you know this is true.
My mother covered for my sister, when I told her how every one of them stayed quiet as mice about the husband's Hep C, when I disclosed about my son's Hep B. All of them colluded so that I would be out there hanging in the wind so they could appear pure as the driven stone. When he had been an addict and my son had only been a fetus.
Like what they did to M in the hospital? Except M could care less.
Why in the world did I send the email?
I think it has to be to be strong. Like now she is the one who is cowering. Of course she can tell herself that I am worth 
and so was my Mother. But let her. I know the truth. I do not want to cower anymore.
Well, if they do not know they are lying, they are very sick indeed. It could be that they have a pact whereby they believe each others lies, and therefore can claim to themselves they tell the truth.
Who cares? They are hateful people. The more I think about it I was sticking my tongue out at my sister with my hands at my ears saying, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Catch me if you can. You chicken.
Yeah. And I end up with a stiletto in my gut.
Have fun, Cedar.
COPA
