I thik it would have been way different for all of us if our parents, like parents who UNDERSTAND what family means, would have taught us that siblings love one another and support one another. I don't remember my mom ever bringing my siblings to one of my many successful drama performances so that they could be proud of me and see me being successful. Ever. I never went to my brother or sisters anythings. I'm, not sure if they were in any activities.
When I was little and teased my sister, to me my mother should have put a firm stop to it. "She is your sister! You are bigger! You are to love your sister, she is part of our family." Never heard it. Heard lots of criticism of my sister so I'm sure she did of me, in my case into adulthood.I see my sister asking my mom for assitance and my mother walking back and forth with the phone in her hand, ignoring her, gossipping with my grandmother.She didn't care if we were unkind to one another, not as little kids and not as adults, and she would participate in bashing and gossip into adulthood. It was destined.
I don't think any of this needed to happen. This one I put on our parents and the divide/conquer factor in our families of origin. I would never listen to any of my kids bashing a sibling. We are a close unit, in general, with Bart being the only one who is a bit distant from his siblings, by his location and vast age differences and choice. But he is not into bashing a family member to me. I don't think he feels ill toward anyone.
