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General Parenting
Best Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder?
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 448752" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Hello and welcome. I understand you completely! My daughter is also 16. She has been in and out of 2 residential placements. She has PTSD but we have been told since she was 14 that she has borderline characteristics and because of her abuse history, will most likely develop it. I believe she already has it- full blown. She runs and puts herself in great danger as part of the lack of impulse control that comes with the disorder. She was in a residential DBT treatment center here. She did very well learning the skills and we learned them as well. "The wheels came off the bus" this past week and she ended up in a "borderline episode" that resulted in her almost ending her life.The skills are great and seem common sense-but they have to really want to use them and have support. It wasn't until 2 month ago my daughter finially admitted she was mentally ill and needed to internalize these skills that progress began after about 3 years of individual, family, and residential therapy.This is a tough disorder. It seems to have levels of severity. My child seems to be pretty sick. It is exhausting work for parents.I don't know about the consequence thing.. I am so wrestling with how to play it out. I believe that life gives those to you and where natural or logical consequences are available they should be used. I also like using this this called collaborative problem solving, when the situation is right-( from books called the Explosive Child but a better discription is in the book called Lost at School)The hard part is that you lost out on this trip as well. Borderline people often love you one minute and hate you the next, this is called splitting. You are either all good or all bad. I've also learned recently that they often have a hard time holding in their head the love that comes from you and that each interaction is like an interaction in isolation without context. My daughter never caled me names or said I hate you, but she did tell me I was to blame for everything and that I didn't understand. I withdraw when she gets into one of these places. I do it physically or I do it by just listening and I do not take anything personal- has taken awhile to get there.The lying about kills me-but it is also a big pard of the disorder. Sometimes it is out and out "I want what I want" at any cost, or" I want to avoid a given consequence or situation", or "I really believe this lie I've made up". So when do you give a consequence? There are success stories out there. I have heard them at NAMI meetings ( a great resource to tap into for support). There are some others on the board that have experience and more success than I. I have read "Stop walking on Eggshells" and many books on the disorder and the newer one give greater hope, much of that because of DBT therapy, developed by Marsha Linehan. Every situation is different, but I know and have excepted that we will be on our toes for many years and that our daughter will need support as she is even willing to end her life to stop the suffering.Hugs to you and as I've been told, never give up, but get support and take of yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 448752, member: 11001"] Hello and welcome. I understand you completely! My daughter is also 16. She has been in and out of 2 residential placements. She has PTSD but we have been told since she was 14 that she has borderline characteristics and because of her abuse history, will most likely develop it. I believe she already has it- full blown. She runs and puts herself in great danger as part of the lack of impulse control that comes with the disorder. She was in a residential DBT treatment center here. She did very well learning the skills and we learned them as well. "The wheels came off the bus" this past week and she ended up in a "borderline episode" that resulted in her almost ending her life.The skills are great and seem common sense-but they have to really want to use them and have support. It wasn't until 2 month ago my daughter finially admitted she was mentally ill and needed to internalize these skills that progress began after about 3 years of individual, family, and residential therapy.This is a tough disorder. It seems to have levels of severity. My child seems to be pretty sick. It is exhausting work for parents.I don't know about the consequence thing.. I am so wrestling with how to play it out. I believe that life gives those to you and where natural or logical consequences are available they should be used. I also like using this this called collaborative problem solving, when the situation is right-( from books called the Explosive Child but a better discription is in the book called Lost at School)The hard part is that you lost out on this trip as well. Borderline people often love you one minute and hate you the next, this is called splitting. You are either all good or all bad. I've also learned recently that they often have a hard time holding in their head the love that comes from you and that each interaction is like an interaction in isolation without context. My daughter never caled me names or said I hate you, but she did tell me I was to blame for everything and that I didn't understand. I withdraw when she gets into one of these places. I do it physically or I do it by just listening and I do not take anything personal- has taken awhile to get there.The lying about kills me-but it is also a big pard of the disorder. Sometimes it is out and out "I want what I want" at any cost, or" I want to avoid a given consequence or situation", or "I really believe this lie I've made up". So when do you give a consequence? There are success stories out there. I have heard them at NAMI meetings ( a great resource to tap into for support). There are some others on the board that have experience and more success than I. I have read "Stop walking on Eggshells" and many books on the disorder and the newer one give greater hope, much of that because of DBT therapy, developed by Marsha Linehan. Every situation is different, but I know and have excepted that we will be on our toes for many years and that our daughter will need support as she is even willing to end her life to stop the suffering.Hugs to you and as I've been told, never give up, but get support and take of yourself. [/QUOTE]
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