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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 678073" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Hopeful,</p><p>Thinking of you dear sister..... prayers going up for your biopsy tomorrow. I am sorry for all of your heart ache and this on top of it.</p><p>Life is really, really hard.</p><p>You are so strong.</p><p>I am amazed at how much you have come through and how strong you are.</p><p>You are brave as well, thank you for sharing your story, because there are others in similar situations who will benefit. It is difficult to deal with our own health issues, and our d cs. I am glad you have your safety net with your family, sis, hubby and older son.</p><p> I am glad you were able to talk with your son. I know it has been awhile since there has been a decent conversation. But, talking with our d cs about their woes, whether it is in calm tones or not, <em>can be very stressful on us. </em></p><p> I am sorry Hopeful, it is disturbing. No wonder you are feeling bewildered and sad. Hopeful, I agree with the others that the police should be alerted on the video. What if his violent outbursts escalate? That would be even more horrible. I think you will have a weight lifted off your shoulders if you alert police. </p><p>Son must deal with the consequences of his poor choices. It is assault. He is wrong.</p><p> I am not a doctor, but I have been depressed. I don't feel like going anywhere, doing anything. It does seem more than a bit fishy.</p><p>My two have extreme mood swings. They can be sullen, withdrawn and downright nasty, and their phone would ring, one of their "cronies" as you say, sudden uplifted spirits, laughter, etc., etc.</p><p>Get off the phone, the biotch from heck is back in the room.</p><p>It is bizarre and unsettling.</p><p> I think our d cs are capable of stooping to some very dark levels to get what they want.</p><p>Hopeful, do you have any idea of what he may be using? Meth makes people violent, as does a number of drugs out there.</p><p>He is bouncing from here to there, and refused to go into a shelter that would help him get a job, rehab, whatever he needed to be set up. He was constantly showing up at your house, pleading for rides, which led to more and more. You and your hubby have been through so much, and what is clear about the things you have posted about, is that your son, like my two,</p><p>thinks about one thing most of the time,</p><p>ME, me,me,me,me.</p><p>Poor me.</p><p>But, HE won't do anything about it.</p><p><em></em></p><p><em>It is disturbing to think he would use your illness</em>. I do not put it past him.</p><p>I write this,<em> because my two would</em>.</p><p>The manipulating and lies, stealing, denial.</p><p>It is hard for a mother to wrap her head around it.</p><p>You know why Hopeful?</p><p><em>Because we would not do these things to our own parents. </em></p><p></p><p>There is an entirely different mindset going on with our d cs, and we are really no match for them.</p><p></p><p>It reminds me of my two doggies playing, I have a big one and a small one.</p><p>The small one runs circles and circles around the bigger one.</p><p></p><p>This is what our d cs try do to us.</p><p>Talk circles.</p><p>Pull the wool over the eyes,</p><p>the rug from under the feet,</p><p>whatever it takes to get what they want.</p><p></p><p>The biggest tool they use is guilt; so son felt depressed maybe because of gmas 90th surprise party, but, then again....... he was invited to his brothers wedding, tux fitted and all, and never showed up, no call, no nothing.</p><p></p><p>Circles.</p><p>Always about them.</p><p>Too bad.</p><p>We have spent enough time worrying about them, more than they think of their own choices and consequences, that is where I am at right now.</p><p>Enough.</p><p></p><p>You have health issues, that is first, Hopeful. You come first.</p><p></p><p> I wish that for you too. I am liking my limited/no contact with my two. I just miss my grands.</p><p>How does a mom say this?</p><p>I have been stomped on too many times, and so have you.</p><p></p><p> I do not blame you one bit Hopeful. I think short conversations are best, when we know our d cs just want to talk circles. Don't let him put you in the FOG.</p><p></p><p>Until you figure out what is going on with your health, I would maybe even consider going no contact. Stress is very bad. This has been very stressful.</p><p>Please take time for yourself to relax and breathe. You are a wonderful person and deserve peace.</p><p>I will be thinking of you and praying for negative results with your biopsy.</p><p>Will sis, or hubby be going? </p><p></p><p>Know that you are not alone, we are circling up the prayer wagons here on CD. </p><p>That is a GOOD circle....Prayers are powerful. Prayers and positive thinking..........</p><p></p><p>Take care dear warrior sister. You are in my thoughts.....</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 678073, member: 19522"] Hi Hopeful, Thinking of you dear sister..... prayers going up for your biopsy tomorrow. I am sorry for all of your heart ache and this on top of it. Life is really, really hard. You are so strong. I am amazed at how much you have come through and how strong you are. You are brave as well, thank you for sharing your story, because there are others in similar situations who will benefit. It is difficult to deal with our own health issues, and our d cs. I am glad you have your safety net with your family, sis, hubby and older son. I am glad you were able to talk with your son. I know it has been awhile since there has been a decent conversation. But, talking with our d cs about their woes, whether it is in calm tones or not, [I]can be very stressful on us. [/I] I am sorry Hopeful, it is disturbing. No wonder you are feeling bewildered and sad. Hopeful, I agree with the others that the police should be alerted on the video. What if his violent outbursts escalate? That would be even more horrible. I think you will have a weight lifted off your shoulders if you alert police. Son must deal with the consequences of his poor choices. It is assault. He is wrong. I am not a doctor, but I have been depressed. I don't feel like going anywhere, doing anything. It does seem more than a bit fishy. My two have extreme mood swings. They can be sullen, withdrawn and downright nasty, and their phone would ring, one of their "cronies" as you say, sudden uplifted spirits, laughter, etc., etc. Get off the phone, the biotch from heck is back in the room. It is bizarre and unsettling. I think our d cs are capable of stooping to some very dark levels to get what they want. Hopeful, do you have any idea of what he may be using? Meth makes people violent, as does a number of drugs out there. He is bouncing from here to there, and refused to go into a shelter that would help him get a job, rehab, whatever he needed to be set up. He was constantly showing up at your house, pleading for rides, which led to more and more. You and your hubby have been through so much, and what is clear about the things you have posted about, is that your son, like my two, thinks about one thing most of the time, ME, me,me,me,me. Poor me. But, HE won't do anything about it. [I] It is disturbing to think he would use your illness[/I]. I do not put it past him. I write this,[I] because my two would[/I]. The manipulating and lies, stealing, denial. It is hard for a mother to wrap her head around it. You know why Hopeful? [I]Because we would not do these things to our own parents. [/I] There is an entirely different mindset going on with our d cs, and we are really no match for them. It reminds me of my two doggies playing, I have a big one and a small one. The small one runs circles and circles around the bigger one. This is what our d cs try do to us. Talk circles. Pull the wool over the eyes, the rug from under the feet, whatever it takes to get what they want. The biggest tool they use is guilt; so son felt depressed maybe because of gmas 90th surprise party, but, then again....... he was invited to his brothers wedding, tux fitted and all, and never showed up, no call, no nothing. Circles. Always about them. Too bad. We have spent enough time worrying about them, more than they think of their own choices and consequences, that is where I am at right now. Enough. You have health issues, that is first, Hopeful. You come first. I wish that for you too. I am liking my limited/no contact with my two. I just miss my grands. How does a mom say this? I have been stomped on too many times, and so have you. I do not blame you one bit Hopeful. I think short conversations are best, when we know our d cs just want to talk circles. Don't let him put you in the FOG. Until you figure out what is going on with your health, I would maybe even consider going no contact. Stress is very bad. This has been very stressful. Please take time for yourself to relax and breathe. You are a wonderful person and deserve peace. I will be thinking of you and praying for negative results with your biopsy. Will sis, or hubby be going? Know that you are not alone, we are circling up the prayer wagons here on CD. That is a GOOD circle....Prayers are powerful. Prayers and positive thinking.......... Take care dear warrior sister. You are in my thoughts..... (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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