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Beyond insane easy child update GRRR ACK!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 173642" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Dreamer, a serious suggestion.</p><p></p><p>When you've caught up on your rest, sit down and document this. Do it in point form, as tight a summary as you can do. Try to limit it to less than a page (because burueaucrats, including doctors and other officials, do not like turning pages especially with complaints).</p><p></p><p>boyfriend's mother will need a copy of this too, so your story and her story are straight.</p><p></p><p>Your summary should list dates, places, names and events.</p><p></p><p>Example:</p><p>5 July 9am - easy child unable to keep fluids down. Concerned about dehydration, took her to ER. Outcome - ER staff rehydrated (list how much fluid) and recommended x plus follow-up with easy child's OBGYN.</p><p></p><p>6 July - I rang easy child's OBGYN, easy child too ill to make the call. doctor's staff refused to make appointment unless it was easy child herself who called.</p><p></p><p>7 JUly - easy child back in hospital again - more vomiting. Can't keep fluids down. Also can't keep any medications down. Outcome (do the same as before). Hospital said to not come back until OBGYN has dealt. They will send records to OBGYN</p><p></p><p>8 JUly - hospital sent records to wrong doctor. Refuse to send again because I'm not the patient. OBGYN can request, but refusing to because I'm not the patient. easy child too ill to talk on phone, hospital and doctor's staff both told this, still claim no option.</p><p></p><p>9 July - easy child well enough to call OBGYN. Can't see her today.</p><p></p><p>10 July - saw OBGYN. Hasn't yet read hospital records. Claimed that prescribed medications were suppository, yet what was dispensed was not. doctor apparently feels I'm lying or mistaken. doctor feels easy child is fine, should be able to take medications, isn't really sick because hasn't thrown up during consult.</p><p>doctor finds hospital files. Now acknowledges that easy child is very sick, organises immediate hospital admission for rehydration.</p><p>Hospital - considerable delays in admission including being directed to wrong area. No escort or wheelchair despite easy child being unable to cope. Eventually treated, 5 bags of fluid from very competent and sympathetic nurse, then discharge to home and more support from nurse to get security to release car from car park.</p><p></p><p></p><p>OK, fix up where I've got it wrong, but you get the idea.</p><p></p><p>If you are complaining, you then write a separate complaint letter which says in the first sentence what you are complaining about. You then state briefly a summary of the problems, mostly lack of communication, lack of being believed, lack of action where needed and files etc being misdirected. Possibly prescriptions being written/filled incorrectly also. Mention here how upset you are by this as well as how dangerous this could have been for easy child and the baby, all because people aren't paying attention or communicating appropriately and effectively.</p><p>Then state what you want - an apology from OBGYN? An opportunity to find a new OBGYN? Some way of being recognised as legitimately being allowed to speak on behalf of easy child and have it obvious so officious staff don't get in your way?</p><p></p><p>THen conclude your letter with a simple sentence about how you require a reply sooner rather than later, because this is such a serious matter and you've had enough of it being trivialised.</p><p></p><p>Attach your point form summary, and again - keep your letter to under a page.</p><p></p><p>Even if you don't actually send the letter, it is good practice to write it. It helps keep the information straight and concise, which in an emergency is exactly what is needed.</p><p></p><p>Too much detail, especially spread out and/or padded with emotion and digression, can also get in the way of effective medical response. I think you should have an OBGYN who is not only going to listen to you but who can, if they feel they need to, ask what questions they need to in order to cut to the chase (accurately) as quickly as necessary.</p><p>For example, a good doctor should be asking, "How sick has she been? How often? And for how long?" and then LOOK at her, check her eyes, her skin, her tongue - and purely on the basis of her presentation alone, making a sensible call. If the doctor thinks you've been making her take suppositories orally, and you insist you haven't but what you were given strictly said to be swallowed, the doctor is fiddling while Rome burns, if he argues with you about what he claims he wrote. Either he wrote it wrong (which should be considered) or the pharmacist made it up wrong (which clearly can easily happen, given the SNAFU happening with files, records etc) or you are doing the wrong thing (which from the doctor's point of view also has to be considered). But tat is three possibilities, the doctor shouldn't be wasting time attacking you when there are more important issues to deal with.</p><p></p><p>It sounds to me like he was more interested (at least initially) in getting you out of his rooms and moving on to the next patient. I suspect you were a squeeze-in appointment and he had already made up his mind before you even walked in the room.</p><p></p><p>easy child has been needing urgent and appropriate help. This doctor hasn't been following through. When his staff have refused to give you any credence, and he has denied this is possible - that would have me walking out permanently. Failing that, I would be talking to the staff in reception and introducing myself in the presence of the doctor. Tell the doctor to humour you - your recollection states that you were told to f off, so if you are wrong and the doctor is right - then he has nothing to lose by standing there and hearing this conversation. "Hi, my name is Dreamer, this is easy child. I am her mother. easy child, do you give me permission to call here on your behalf? easy child, do you give me permission to make appointments for you if you are too ill to talk? Staff, have you heard me? If I call, do you now acknowledge that I am doing so with easy child's permission? Now, if I should call, will you remember this?"</p><p></p><p>OK, it's a bit confrontational, but somewhere in there you need to make sure that this will not happen again.</p><p></p><p>Next time you meet someone who insists that your version of events could not be true, do NOT get caught up in, "It's true!" "It isn't!" "It's true!" "It isn't" to and fro. Instead, just say, "I am telling you what I believe has happened. You do not think it did happen. Maybe it happened during the lunch break and the work experience kid was on duty. Maybe it was the cleaner who answered the phone. Maybe it was a wrong number and I rang the proctologist instead. But it really doesn't matter. The real point is, what do we do NOW? And how can we make sure that what I believe happened, won't happen again?"</p><p></p><p>The biggest issue here is easy child's welfare. While it would be good if the doctor didn't immediately assume you are lying or exaggerating, that is secondary. As you said, you can always go in there next time and shove that bottle of pills where the sun don't shine. easy child can take the bottles at her next appointment, with the aim of clearing this up (to make sure such mistakes don't happen again).</p><p></p><p>I would also be talking to whoever dispensed that prescription, try and get a photocopy sent back to the doctor, point out that if the doctor is insisting that he wrote a script for suppositories, then this is the same as the doctor insisting that the pharmacist dispensed it wrongly. The pharmacist won't be happy with the doctor and you might learn something to your advantage from his reaction.</p><p></p><p>And in the meantime, I would be asking around to find a different OBGYN you feel she is safer with.</p><p></p><p>I wish I had done that when I had difficult child 3. I had bad vibes from the bloke I had, I didn't know him. He wasn't as good as my previous OBGYN, who had died "in harness". The new bloke had inherited the practice and although he has a great reputation, he wasn't right for me, it turned out.</p><p></p><p>Good luck with this one.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 173642, member: 1991"] Dreamer, a serious suggestion. When you've caught up on your rest, sit down and document this. Do it in point form, as tight a summary as you can do. Try to limit it to less than a page (because burueaucrats, including doctors and other officials, do not like turning pages especially with complaints). boyfriend's mother will need a copy of this too, so your story and her story are straight. Your summary should list dates, places, names and events. Example: 5 July 9am - easy child unable to keep fluids down. Concerned about dehydration, took her to ER. Outcome - ER staff rehydrated (list how much fluid) and recommended x plus follow-up with easy child's OBGYN. 6 July - I rang easy child's OBGYN, easy child too ill to make the call. doctor's staff refused to make appointment unless it was easy child herself who called. 7 JUly - easy child back in hospital again - more vomiting. Can't keep fluids down. Also can't keep any medications down. Outcome (do the same as before). Hospital said to not come back until OBGYN has dealt. They will send records to OBGYN 8 JUly - hospital sent records to wrong doctor. Refuse to send again because I'm not the patient. OBGYN can request, but refusing to because I'm not the patient. easy child too ill to talk on phone, hospital and doctor's staff both told this, still claim no option. 9 July - easy child well enough to call OBGYN. Can't see her today. 10 July - saw OBGYN. Hasn't yet read hospital records. Claimed that prescribed medications were suppository, yet what was dispensed was not. doctor apparently feels I'm lying or mistaken. doctor feels easy child is fine, should be able to take medications, isn't really sick because hasn't thrown up during consult. doctor finds hospital files. Now acknowledges that easy child is very sick, organises immediate hospital admission for rehydration. Hospital - considerable delays in admission including being directed to wrong area. No escort or wheelchair despite easy child being unable to cope. Eventually treated, 5 bags of fluid from very competent and sympathetic nurse, then discharge to home and more support from nurse to get security to release car from car park. OK, fix up where I've got it wrong, but you get the idea. If you are complaining, you then write a separate complaint letter which says in the first sentence what you are complaining about. You then state briefly a summary of the problems, mostly lack of communication, lack of being believed, lack of action where needed and files etc being misdirected. Possibly prescriptions being written/filled incorrectly also. Mention here how upset you are by this as well as how dangerous this could have been for easy child and the baby, all because people aren't paying attention or communicating appropriately and effectively. Then state what you want - an apology from OBGYN? An opportunity to find a new OBGYN? Some way of being recognised as legitimately being allowed to speak on behalf of easy child and have it obvious so officious staff don't get in your way? THen conclude your letter with a simple sentence about how you require a reply sooner rather than later, because this is such a serious matter and you've had enough of it being trivialised. Attach your point form summary, and again - keep your letter to under a page. Even if you don't actually send the letter, it is good practice to write it. It helps keep the information straight and concise, which in an emergency is exactly what is needed. Too much detail, especially spread out and/or padded with emotion and digression, can also get in the way of effective medical response. I think you should have an OBGYN who is not only going to listen to you but who can, if they feel they need to, ask what questions they need to in order to cut to the chase (accurately) as quickly as necessary. For example, a good doctor should be asking, "How sick has she been? How often? And for how long?" and then LOOK at her, check her eyes, her skin, her tongue - and purely on the basis of her presentation alone, making a sensible call. If the doctor thinks you've been making her take suppositories orally, and you insist you haven't but what you were given strictly said to be swallowed, the doctor is fiddling while Rome burns, if he argues with you about what he claims he wrote. Either he wrote it wrong (which should be considered) or the pharmacist made it up wrong (which clearly can easily happen, given the SNAFU happening with files, records etc) or you are doing the wrong thing (which from the doctor's point of view also has to be considered). But tat is three possibilities, the doctor shouldn't be wasting time attacking you when there are more important issues to deal with. It sounds to me like he was more interested (at least initially) in getting you out of his rooms and moving on to the next patient. I suspect you were a squeeze-in appointment and he had already made up his mind before you even walked in the room. easy child has been needing urgent and appropriate help. This doctor hasn't been following through. When his staff have refused to give you any credence, and he has denied this is possible - that would have me walking out permanently. Failing that, I would be talking to the staff in reception and introducing myself in the presence of the doctor. Tell the doctor to humour you - your recollection states that you were told to f off, so if you are wrong and the doctor is right - then he has nothing to lose by standing there and hearing this conversation. "Hi, my name is Dreamer, this is easy child. I am her mother. easy child, do you give me permission to call here on your behalf? easy child, do you give me permission to make appointments for you if you are too ill to talk? Staff, have you heard me? If I call, do you now acknowledge that I am doing so with easy child's permission? Now, if I should call, will you remember this?" OK, it's a bit confrontational, but somewhere in there you need to make sure that this will not happen again. Next time you meet someone who insists that your version of events could not be true, do NOT get caught up in, "It's true!" "It isn't!" "It's true!" "It isn't" to and fro. Instead, just say, "I am telling you what I believe has happened. You do not think it did happen. Maybe it happened during the lunch break and the work experience kid was on duty. Maybe it was the cleaner who answered the phone. Maybe it was a wrong number and I rang the proctologist instead. But it really doesn't matter. The real point is, what do we do NOW? And how can we make sure that what I believe happened, won't happen again?" The biggest issue here is easy child's welfare. While it would be good if the doctor didn't immediately assume you are lying or exaggerating, that is secondary. As you said, you can always go in there next time and shove that bottle of pills where the sun don't shine. easy child can take the bottles at her next appointment, with the aim of clearing this up (to make sure such mistakes don't happen again). I would also be talking to whoever dispensed that prescription, try and get a photocopy sent back to the doctor, point out that if the doctor is insisting that he wrote a script for suppositories, then this is the same as the doctor insisting that the pharmacist dispensed it wrongly. The pharmacist won't be happy with the doctor and you might learn something to your advantage from his reaction. And in the meantime, I would be asking around to find a different OBGYN you feel she is safer with. I wish I had done that when I had difficult child 3. I had bad vibes from the bloke I had, I didn't know him. He wasn't as good as my previous OBGYN, who had died "in harness". The new bloke had inherited the practice and although he has a great reputation, he wasn't right for me, it turned out. Good luck with this one. Marg [/QUOTE]
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