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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704616" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Look. That you called for evaluations before, and they did not pan out, is not a reason to stop calling. Every single time. People need to be held responsible for their words, threats and actions. If he says something suicidal or dangerous, call the authorities.</p><p></p><p>The entire problem needs to be solved within you, I believe. How you think about your power or your responsibility towards your adult son. And how I do, as well. You paid off the house for him. Did it help?</p><p></p><p>Is the house in his own name or yours? If it was in my own name, I would save it. And I would try to work on my own illusions and fantasies that I can do anything at all to save my child.</p><p></p><p>I do believe in support. But if your son is a drug addict, your choices are more circumscribed. If I were in your shoes, I would go to Al Anon, (and I am going to go too.).</p><p></p><p>A lot of people have come back from losing houses. I did too. But each of us here on CD speaks from our own stories. Each of us has our own wounds, hurts, prejudices, limits, bitterness. Nobody should tell you what to do or how to think.</p><p></p><p>Because you have the power to develop your own strengths and voice. </p><p></p><p>It is not the advice and counsel you receive here on CD that will help you find your way, the way to be in relation to yourself, your own life, and your child. What will help is to continue posting and posting on your own threads and offering your support and experience on other threads, too. And in other similar activities such as Al Anon.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704616, member: 18958"] Look. That you called for evaluations before, and they did not pan out, is not a reason to stop calling. Every single time. People need to be held responsible for their words, threats and actions. If he says something suicidal or dangerous, call the authorities. The entire problem needs to be solved within you, I believe. How you think about your power or your responsibility towards your adult son. And how I do, as well. You paid off the house for him. Did it help? Is the house in his own name or yours? If it was in my own name, I would save it. And I would try to work on my own illusions and fantasies that I can do anything at all to save my child. I do believe in support. But if your son is a drug addict, your choices are more circumscribed. If I were in your shoes, I would go to Al Anon, (and I am going to go too.). A lot of people have come back from losing houses. I did too. But each of us here on CD speaks from our own stories. Each of us has our own wounds, hurts, prejudices, limits, bitterness. Nobody should tell you what to do or how to think. Because you have the power to develop your own strengths and voice. It is not the advice and counsel you receive here on CD that will help you find your way, the way to be in relation to yourself, your own life, and your child. What will help is to continue posting and posting on your own threads and offering your support and experience on other threads, too. And in other similar activities such as Al Anon. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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