Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Big dip down on roller coaster ride..need support & ideas...no judgment
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 350893" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Nomad, </p><p></p><p>This is the part of my life where I feel (present company excluded) I have to remain silent about my guilt for feeling guilty. I struggle so much with Dude being where he is and knowing in such a short period of time (1 month) he has made more bad decisions in 30 days than he has made in 16 years I could just scream. I do know that the decisions he has made are his alone. Doesn't make it any easier on me because I worry. That's the part I have problems with now. Not the NO you can't come here, NO you can't walk on me. However after 20 years of being his Mom? I don't know how everyone else just turns off their feelings and seems to not care or has that 'he gets what he deserves' attitude. I KNOW he does, I just don't want another person to say it. It's like a small corner of my being wants to scream "SHUT UP - I'm his Mother you know I'm right here listening - I still love him no matter, I never stopped being his Mom just because..." </p><p></p><p> Not that I have a crystal ball, but like my parents before me experience tells me things that a child can't possibly know until they live it. Doesn't stop me from wanting to shake him until his teeth come out. Doesn't keep him from a potential prison term either. His choices make me so sad some days I wonder how I function at all. Prayer and Welbutrin maybe. (insert serious chuckle - see knees thoroughly worn out) Trying to separate myself from my guilt in realizing that I don't make his choices regardless of his disability helps to some degree. Knowing that if I bring him back to live with me would probably end my marriage before it ever happened and would put me in a grave from health issues? Good deterrent. I mean if my health is<strong><em> this</em></strong> iffy with what he does when he is not here? To bring him back when I'm older than he was when he was here? Not a very good idea for me, or him - the arguing would damage us both - and the house. Something to ponder no matter how much I care. I keep thinking about a few Springs ago we had a nest of Cardinals outside my window and they built their nest on a branch right over our pool. I thought about putting a net over the pool until the chicks were grown. Not my problem - interfering. At one point the Mother took a chick in her beak and tossed the thing out of the nest and it took off in flight then landed. The other got on the edge of the nest, attempted to fly and hit the pool. The parents flew over and sat on the edge of the pool squawking and so on, but never went in and got it. Tough love at it's finest. The parents flew to the baby in the grass and left the little one to struggle in the pool. Eventually he made it, but no extra help. It made me think that even birds have tough love without guilt. </p><p></p><p></p><p>As far as bringing her home? Does H no have a nice ring? Okay then just no will suffice. (sorry echo's of DF in my head) </p><p></p><p>With regards to long term care? You have some really tough decisions to make and I don't envy your task. Either choice I'm afraid will have some guilt. Her freedom vs. your sanity. Not an easy choice. </p><p></p><p>Much love - I think for now? I'd try to find a weekend with husband and maybe a nice slow walk in the park - and avoid the amusement park for a while. It will still be there when you come back. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> Saw a bumper sticker at lunch that made me think of you - Get in, Sit down, Buckle up, Hang on! </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 350893, member: 4964"] Nomad, This is the part of my life where I feel (present company excluded) I have to remain silent about my guilt for feeling guilty. I struggle so much with Dude being where he is and knowing in such a short period of time (1 month) he has made more bad decisions in 30 days than he has made in 16 years I could just scream. I do know that the decisions he has made are his alone. Doesn't make it any easier on me because I worry. That's the part I have problems with now. Not the NO you can't come here, NO you can't walk on me. However after 20 years of being his Mom? I don't know how everyone else just turns off their feelings and seems to not care or has that 'he gets what he deserves' attitude. I KNOW he does, I just don't want another person to say it. It's like a small corner of my being wants to scream "SHUT UP - I'm his Mother you know I'm right here listening - I still love him no matter, I never stopped being his Mom just because..." Not that I have a crystal ball, but like my parents before me experience tells me things that a child can't possibly know until they live it. Doesn't stop me from wanting to shake him until his teeth come out. Doesn't keep him from a potential prison term either. His choices make me so sad some days I wonder how I function at all. Prayer and Welbutrin maybe. (insert serious chuckle - see knees thoroughly worn out) Trying to separate myself from my guilt in realizing that I don't make his choices regardless of his disability helps to some degree. Knowing that if I bring him back to live with me would probably end my marriage before it ever happened and would put me in a grave from health issues? Good deterrent. I mean if my health is[B][I] this[/I][/B] iffy with what he does when he is not here? To bring him back when I'm older than he was when he was here? Not a very good idea for me, or him - the arguing would damage us both - and the house. Something to ponder no matter how much I care. I keep thinking about a few Springs ago we had a nest of Cardinals outside my window and they built their nest on a branch right over our pool. I thought about putting a net over the pool until the chicks were grown. Not my problem - interfering. At one point the Mother took a chick in her beak and tossed the thing out of the nest and it took off in flight then landed. The other got on the edge of the nest, attempted to fly and hit the pool. The parents flew over and sat on the edge of the pool squawking and so on, but never went in and got it. Tough love at it's finest. The parents flew to the baby in the grass and left the little one to struggle in the pool. Eventually he made it, but no extra help. It made me think that even birds have tough love without guilt. As far as bringing her home? Does H no have a nice ring? Okay then just no will suffice. (sorry echo's of DF in my head) With regards to long term care? You have some really tough decisions to make and I don't envy your task. Either choice I'm afraid will have some guilt. Her freedom vs. your sanity. Not an easy choice. Much love - I think for now? I'd try to find a weekend with husband and maybe a nice slow walk in the park - and avoid the amusement park for a while. It will still be there when you come back. :raspberry-tounge: Saw a bumper sticker at lunch that made me think of you - Get in, Sit down, Buckle up, Hang on! Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Big dip down on roller coaster ride..need support & ideas...no judgment
Top