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Big Mistake?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 200748" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Daisy, </p><p> </p><p>At 94.....and still sharp, I think you have underestimated your mother in law's ability to call a spade a spade. When K did all those things to YOU - do you not think that your mother in law KNEW about them or was informed, maybe asked your husband? Got an earful from your other kids about how badly she hurt you, your husband and them - even her? </p><p> </p><p>I think the old gal is right to be guarded, and I keep trying to remember and stay open because a lot of things that Dude has done to us, I FORGOT I whined to my Mom about - and in my life - forgotten. IN HER MIND? Fresh as a daisy (no pun intended). </p><p> </p><p>Listen, you did the right thing I feel in telling your mother in law what has happened. You could sit there and say until you are blue that K will NEVER want any money - but even YOU said her husband is a pawntoad - and I'm sure your mother in law figures misery loved compay, and pawned her stuff. So I think she's right to remain guarded, and I think you are BOTH right to give those things that her mother should have gotten to Kayla when she's on her own and older. When Kayla hands it to her kids it will STILL be a family heirloom...just a generation lost didn't get to wear it as intended...but it will still have belonged to her great great great great grandma. </p><p> </p><p>I think you hurt because WE (our generation) really really takes too much "do-over" your mother in law's generation didn't give third and fourth chances nor did they GET anything past a first chance so OUR culture of forgiving over and over must seem really queer to them. And stupid (according to my Mom) </p><p> </p><p>Hope maybe this has some answers for you - and also think of it that YOU and your kids have WANTED to make up with K for a long time - your mother in law probably wrote her off with good reason years ago. Call it generation smart or Generation stern - but I'm having to try NOW to do what my Mom and her MOM did all along - tough love from the word go -</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 200748, member: 4964"] Daisy, At 94.....and still sharp, I think you have underestimated your mother in law's ability to call a spade a spade. When K did all those things to YOU - do you not think that your mother in law KNEW about them or was informed, maybe asked your husband? Got an earful from your other kids about how badly she hurt you, your husband and them - even her? I think the old gal is right to be guarded, and I keep trying to remember and stay open because a lot of things that Dude has done to us, I FORGOT I whined to my Mom about - and in my life - forgotten. IN HER MIND? Fresh as a daisy (no pun intended). Listen, you did the right thing I feel in telling your mother in law what has happened. You could sit there and say until you are blue that K will NEVER want any money - but even YOU said her husband is a pawntoad - and I'm sure your mother in law figures misery loved compay, and pawned her stuff. So I think she's right to remain guarded, and I think you are BOTH right to give those things that her mother should have gotten to Kayla when she's on her own and older. When Kayla hands it to her kids it will STILL be a family heirloom...just a generation lost didn't get to wear it as intended...but it will still have belonged to her great great great great grandma. I think you hurt because WE (our generation) really really takes too much "do-over" your mother in law's generation didn't give third and fourth chances nor did they GET anything past a first chance so OUR culture of forgiving over and over must seem really queer to them. And stupid (according to my Mom) Hope maybe this has some answers for you - and also think of it that YOU and your kids have WANTED to make up with K for a long time - your mother in law probably wrote her off with good reason years ago. Call it generation smart or Generation stern - but I'm having to try NOW to do what my Mom and her MOM did all along - tough love from the word go - [/QUOTE]
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