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Big Mistake?
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 200896" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I'm going to add my .02 here. Your mother in law is quite elderly and may not want to revisit a relationship that she had terminated. I'm sure she feels like it's done and over with - at least for her - and that while it was a difficult situation to leave K in the past for everyone, she has accepted things as they are. It's probably not at all about money, but about the emotional cost of rebuilding a severed relationship with someone she and her family were hurt by. It takes a physical toll and may be more than she is ready to do at her age. </p><p></p><p>Let her know that you understand her concerns and will abide by her wishes. Also let her know that it's difficult for you to rebuild with K, and you are going slowly and being sure to protect your family from being hurt by her selfishness again. It doesn't seem reasonable to debate it with her, so maybe the list for things to say to distract when our difficult child's call would work with mother in law? You aren't going to change her mind. Maybe you could change the topic. It's hard that you are having such a disagreement with her when you yourself are going through so much, and <em>neither she</em> nor K may not be with you much longer.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 200896, member: 99"] I'm going to add my .02 here. Your mother in law is quite elderly and may not want to revisit a relationship that she had terminated. I'm sure she feels like it's done and over with - at least for her - and that while it was a difficult situation to leave K in the past for everyone, she has accepted things as they are. It's probably not at all about money, but about the emotional cost of rebuilding a severed relationship with someone she and her family were hurt by. It takes a physical toll and may be more than she is ready to do at her age. Let her know that you understand her concerns and will abide by her wishes. Also let her know that it's difficult for you to rebuild with K, and you are going slowly and being sure to protect your family from being hurt by her selfishness again. It doesn't seem reasonable to debate it with her, so maybe the list for things to say to distract when our difficult child's call would work with mother in law? You aren't going to change her mind. Maybe you could change the topic. It's hard that you are having such a disagreement with her when you yourself are going through so much, and [i]neither she[/i] nor K may not be with you much longer. [/QUOTE]
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