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General Parenting
Birthday party or NO.
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<blockquote data-quote="keepongoing" data-source="post: 373278"><p>I'd say No. You are in for a marathon and why do something that so clearly will deplete your resources and be done with resentment. </p><p>We don't do B-day parties with difficult child because they are overstimulating and -well-he has no friends. We usually do something that he handles well and our small family enjoys too -like going sledding. I do believe in finding something that difficult children do well at and is enjoyable for the rest of the family as well. Feeling of success are good for everyone. </p><p>My kid is also on the spectrum (I saw your difficult child had a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified diagnosis amongst others) and one thing I do with him to explain why he is not getting something he wants is do a Behavior Map (Michelle Garcia Winner - love her stuff). Because my kid does not understand that others have thoughts or feelings as a reaction to his behavior. I write down or draw (he is very visual) what he did, how I felt when he did it, what we thought and how my thoughts and feelings made me react. Kind of the whole chain of difficult child calling you FB, you feeling hurt/sad/mad, thinking 'I don't want to give a party for someone who makes me feel hurt/sad/mad' and guess what: No party. Since my son does not get the thinking/feeling part of other people that whole chain of events is always a mystery to him. I hope that one day he will get it if only interlectually. Not sure about your son but he might have a deficit in that area as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keepongoing, post: 373278"] I'd say No. You are in for a marathon and why do something that so clearly will deplete your resources and be done with resentment. We don't do B-day parties with difficult child because they are overstimulating and -well-he has no friends. We usually do something that he handles well and our small family enjoys too -like going sledding. I do believe in finding something that difficult children do well at and is enjoyable for the rest of the family as well. Feeling of success are good for everyone. My kid is also on the spectrum (I saw your difficult child had a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified diagnosis amongst others) and one thing I do with him to explain why he is not getting something he wants is do a Behavior Map (Michelle Garcia Winner - love her stuff). Because my kid does not understand that others have thoughts or feelings as a reaction to his behavior. I write down or draw (he is very visual) what he did, how I felt when he did it, what we thought and how my thoughts and feelings made me react. Kind of the whole chain of difficult child calling you FB, you feeling hurt/sad/mad, thinking 'I don't want to give a party for someone who makes me feel hurt/sad/mad' and guess what: No party. Since my son does not get the thinking/feeling part of other people that whole chain of events is always a mystery to him. I hope that one day he will get it if only interlectually. Not sure about your son but he might have a deficit in that area as well. [/QUOTE]
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