Blowing steam quickly

[carolanne]

Okay, Becky is on her way home from school and I am unloading here instead of on her.

The school called at 1pm....argh!!!!!! :nonono: Dear Becky has skipped all her mandatory math tutor classes(for half of lunch hour...leaves 45 mins to socalize), and then when given full detention...told the teacher to pee off and didn't go....

I am so angry right this min I am sure steam is pouring out my ears...BUT I don't want her to walk in the door to a mom who is blowing her top....nonononono

So this is how I am handling it....no outside jaunts at all with friends or alone, no movies, only one visit a week with her big sister(the organization) who I have made aware of as well what she has pulled....I am making her move into the smaller bedroom to seperate her and her sister who she will pretty much crucify when they go to bed....

I am also going to be baking to keep my hands busy and my temper in check(get angry and screw up the cookies so I have to stay calm to bake) and just let her know that I am very disappointed in her, that I don't appreciate being snowballed concerning school and that her friends are off limits until she can prove that she is trying her best...not the best of someone else but the best I know she is capable of...

What do you think????? Okay my temper is calming down... :whew:

Carolanne

 

[Star*]

Make cut out angel cookies - and BITE their heads off instead of your daughter.

If it's a son - bake Gingerbread and dunk him upside down in a cold glass of milk till he surrenders.

Sounds like you have a good / great handle on it!

 

[Hound dog]

A good plan. If easy child knows she's getting under your skin she'll push harder.

I like the cut out sugar cookie idea. You can pretend the dough is easy child while you mash and roll it with the rolling pin. :rofl:

((hugs))

 

[Suz]

Hi Carolanne,

I just noticed that you have 4 kids in your profile but only 3 listed. Are you talking about your 14 year old? If so, seems pretty typical for a 14 year old---that doesn't make it acceptable, it just seems to happen all the time with kids that age :hammer: .

Is the school giving her some kind of consequence? I'd try to keep her punishment at home as close to "natural consequences" as possible. If she's cutting the tutoring because she is socializing instead, then limiting (or eliminating) her social life until she shows some improvement seems reasonable.

I'm not sure why you are moving her to another bedroom, though. What does that have to do with anything she has done wrong?

Suz

 

[carolanne]

Yep it's the 14 yr old. I expect most of what she is doing and it's her job as a kid to test limits and push away from me/the family. But quite a bit of the stuff she has been doing is a carbon copy of difficult child....and she admitted to the psychiatrist that she does some of difficult child things so that she can do what she wants because she knows I get upset and scared by her threats of cps/police involvement.

As for the seperate room, that is to keep her from picking on her 12 yr old sister. Whenever I need to hand out consequences, she is extremely cruel to her sister....viscious name calling, hurtful remarks, and at times she has been physical...slapping, pulling hair..

I spoke with her before dinner....she said she knew she was in trouble but chose to skip in order to hang with her friends...who by the way had the same punishment by the school for cutting classes...she said the school is stupid because she told them skipped because she was having a hard time dealing with walking the same school halls that her difficult child sis did two years ago :slap:

All she has done is got herself an entire month of detention with an aide walking her there....sigh...

Carolanne

 

[Suz]

she is extremely cruel to her sister....viscious name calling, hurtful remarks, and at times she has been physical...slapping, pulling hair..

YIKES- yes, get her out of there permanently and protect her sister. sheesh.

Suz