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The Watercooler
Board support needed for tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!PLEASE-URGENTLY NEEDED
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 468464" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Jo, adding in my prayers and strength.</p><p></p><p>As for whether to tell husband, I agree with the others that you need to make your feelings and intentions clear to him so that he has all of the information he needs to have an effective conversation with his mother.</p><p></p><p>That said, I think there are a few questions that you need to ask yourself before you do so:</p><p></p><p>1) Are you prepared to leave YOUR home if your mother in law moves in? In doing so, what do you sacrifice? What do you gain? Would it be better for your husband to move somewhere with mother in law, than to uproot yourself?</p><p>2) Are you in a position to afford alternate living arrangements? Is husband, should it come to that?</p><p>3) What happens if you tell husband that "it's either me or her", and he says "Well, I choose her." What if he is still unwilling to face standing up to his mother, even in the face of your ultimatum? Are you prepared to deal with the fallout should that question come up?</p><p></p><p>Sorry for being so blunt, but I find it's always better to be prepared with as many contingencies as you can come up with ahead of time. With emotions being volatile, it might be harder to think on your feet in the middle of everything. If you have an idea of how you want to react to A or B before you get there, you might be able to go on auto-pilot a bit and not have emotions run away with you.</p><p></p><p>Sending many hugs.</p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 468464, member: 3907"] Jo, adding in my prayers and strength. As for whether to tell husband, I agree with the others that you need to make your feelings and intentions clear to him so that he has all of the information he needs to have an effective conversation with his mother. That said, I think there are a few questions that you need to ask yourself before you do so: 1) Are you prepared to leave YOUR home if your mother in law moves in? In doing so, what do you sacrifice? What do you gain? Would it be better for your husband to move somewhere with mother in law, than to uproot yourself? 2) Are you in a position to afford alternate living arrangements? Is husband, should it come to that? 3) What happens if you tell husband that "it's either me or her", and he says "Well, I choose her." What if he is still unwilling to face standing up to his mother, even in the face of your ultimatum? Are you prepared to deal with the fallout should that question come up? Sorry for being so blunt, but I find it's always better to be prepared with as many contingencies as you can come up with ahead of time. With emotions being volatile, it might be harder to think on your feet in the middle of everything. If you have an idea of how you want to react to A or B before you get there, you might be able to go on auto-pilot a bit and not have emotions run away with you. Sending many hugs. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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Board support needed for tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!PLEASE-URGENTLY NEEDED
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