I have a therapist appointment that I am bringing H with me tonight to discuss his mom. The KEY goal is to discuss with H the need for him to speak with his mom about her planned move to CT. Her plan is to sell her house in FL next Spring and move in with us. H and I have discussed her plans and he reluctantly agrees that it's not a great idea. We have gathered information from three Independent/Assisted living communities local to our home. H knows he needs to tell his mother she cannot live with us - ever, not even for ONE day, but he has yet to discuss it with her - it will be a month next week that she's had this idea in her head and she's told friends and family of her plans. H just makes small talk with her weekly, detailing how well the upstairs addition is coming along, which in my opinion is a BAD idea as it will only further her ideas about us having ample space to house her (our home will be more spacious but will still only have 3 bedrooms. Ugh. So, I am hoping the therapist will be able to help H come up with the right words to say to his mom and assuage his guilt (as I'm sure this is a part of the reason he hasn't said anything to his mom yet). She can become very indignant and angry very fast, though she usually comes across as quiet and subdied - she's manipulative (there is a picture of her next to the word in the dictionary) so there will definitely be some sort of hurt feelings, perhaps even some backlash. However, it needs to be said. My sister in law called me at work today to tell me that my mother in law told her again last night that she's beginning to sell belongings in preparation for the sale of her FL home to move in with her son, ugh.......she even sent sister in law her silver already and plans on speaking with auctioners about having an estate sale. Please send me strength and send H wisdom and words. He doesn't think fast on his feet, but he needs to be able to respond to his mother in adequate ways so she cannot guilt him into anything. Thanks!! ps: Also, I am resolute about moving out if he allows his mom to move in with us. Do I tell him that?