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General Parenting
Bothered me so much I can't sleep (long)
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<blockquote data-quote="OpenWindow" data-source="post: 170988" data-attributes="member: 45"><p>I'm not sure you made the wrong decision in taking her bag. You went over your other options and none of them were good. The only think I might suggest next time is to tell her you will take the bag (or some other valued object) if she doesn't give the candy back calmly. If she still refuses, then take it. It seems to be the only thing that worked for my difficult child at that age. And to me, it's worth the risk of meltdown, becuase hurting other people and stealing are in our Basket A. </p><p></p><p>I've been there myself, and I can see how making her sit on the couch just wouldn't work. Pinning her down and taking the candy, well, I've had to do that and while it does get the candy back, it doesn't give difficult child the chance to make the right decision.</p><p></p><p>I agree that it was great that she could verbalize her feelings like that. It helps to remember too, that killing and dead don't mean the same to a 7 year old that it does to a 12 year old. I think she was really telling you that she really didn't want you around, because then she could get her way. When difficult child would tell me that, I would try to explain the seriousness of what he said (unless it was in the middle of the meltdown, then I'd wait and talk to him about it later). I would never act like I was angry for him saying it. He hasn't threatened to kill me in awhile (although he does threaten little sister because he gets the reaction that he wants), and I don't think it's his medicine but maturity and more understanding of what death means.</p><p></p><p>Linda</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OpenWindow, post: 170988, member: 45"] I'm not sure you made the wrong decision in taking her bag. You went over your other options and none of them were good. The only think I might suggest next time is to tell her you will take the bag (or some other valued object) if she doesn't give the candy back calmly. If she still refuses, then take it. It seems to be the only thing that worked for my difficult child at that age. And to me, it's worth the risk of meltdown, becuase hurting other people and stealing are in our Basket A. I've been there myself, and I can see how making her sit on the couch just wouldn't work. Pinning her down and taking the candy, well, I've had to do that and while it does get the candy back, it doesn't give difficult child the chance to make the right decision. I agree that it was great that she could verbalize her feelings like that. It helps to remember too, that killing and dead don't mean the same to a 7 year old that it does to a 12 year old. I think she was really telling you that she really didn't want you around, because then she could get her way. When difficult child would tell me that, I would try to explain the seriousness of what he said (unless it was in the middle of the meltdown, then I'd wait and talk to him about it later). I would never act like I was angry for him saying it. He hasn't threatened to kill me in awhile (although he does threaten little sister because he gets the reaction that he wants), and I don't think it's his medicine but maturity and more understanding of what death means. Linda [/QUOTE]
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Bothered me so much I can't sleep (long)
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