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Boyfriend wants to get to know my kids better. Yikes!
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<blockquote data-quote="Jody" data-source="post: 554432" data-attributes="member: 8787"><p>Everyone goes by a different speed in their relationships. Some go like the speed of lightning, and have the potential boyfriend meeting the kids the day after their first date and are living together by the end of the week. Yuck, everyone has their timeframe. I think it's okay to give what you want to, but be prepared if he wants the "family" thing now and you don't he might say he's looking for more and move on. That's just the chance you take. I was with a man for ten years, good man, we lived together after a long time, but his childs adhd and my childs adhd were like mixing oil and water. Since we lived together he wanted to parent her the same way he parented his child and it wasn't working for her or I. It caused friction. I realized after he was gone and (we still are close friends), that I liked coming home and putting on my show and fixing what the girls and I like to eat, and not going by anyone elses plans on parenting or plans for my evening. I know my daughters triggers and what she can handle and what will set her off. He doesn't believe kids have any triggers and that I am just babying her and so forth. Um no, she has some mental health issues that need some special attention. I realized that when I came home I was happier to see my boy Broady(dog) and spend time with him. I used to always worry that difficult child would have a meltdown in front of him even years after we didnt live together. There would always be that look in his eyes like she's still throwing tantrums, cause you didn't whoop her, like I said. I hope you have a great time and he is the right guy, because I think with the right guy and having kids with issues it would have be so wonderful to have someone be able to help. If not get a dog. lol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jody, post: 554432, member: 8787"] Everyone goes by a different speed in their relationships. Some go like the speed of lightning, and have the potential boyfriend meeting the kids the day after their first date and are living together by the end of the week. Yuck, everyone has their timeframe. I think it's okay to give what you want to, but be prepared if he wants the "family" thing now and you don't he might say he's looking for more and move on. That's just the chance you take. I was with a man for ten years, good man, we lived together after a long time, but his childs adhd and my childs adhd were like mixing oil and water. Since we lived together he wanted to parent her the same way he parented his child and it wasn't working for her or I. It caused friction. I realized after he was gone and (we still are close friends), that I liked coming home and putting on my show and fixing what the girls and I like to eat, and not going by anyone elses plans on parenting or plans for my evening. I know my daughters triggers and what she can handle and what will set her off. He doesn't believe kids have any triggers and that I am just babying her and so forth. Um no, she has some mental health issues that need some special attention. I realized that when I came home I was happier to see my boy Broady(dog) and spend time with him. I used to always worry that difficult child would have a meltdown in front of him even years after we didnt live together. There would always be that look in his eyes like she's still throwing tantrums, cause you didn't whoop her, like I said. I hope you have a great time and he is the right guy, because I think with the right guy and having kids with issues it would have be so wonderful to have someone be able to help. If not get a dog. lol. [/QUOTE]
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