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Family of Origin
Brother (in spirit) has shut me out
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 747178" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thanks for the update BBU. </p><p></p><p>I understand your feelings. I've had similar experiences in the last couple of years. For me, once I learned how to set boundaries and put myself first, I developed other strategies for my self care........I made an intention to only be in connections, environments, relationships, etc. where my highly sensitive self<em><u> is considered, honored and treated with gentleness </u></em>. Geez. I had no idea now much that would shift my life. It became apparent to me where those pockets of inconsideration were. I literally changed my Doctor, my Dentist, my acupuncturist & massage therapist, I shifted out of various contracts with companies I felt were based in the "win at all costs" mentality so prevalent today........ and I also stepped out of almost all of my "older" friendships. I changed so much by letting go of enabling and letting go of unhealthy strategies where I abandoned myself.......so many changes have occurred in the last year, it now feels as if the life I used to live is over and a new life has arrived. In this new life, there is just no room for anything except love, gentleness, peace, truth, awareness, communication and a generous spirit.......now that I finally realized I am worth having that life, that life has shown up. I set the bar so much higher and then I had to let go of a lot that didn't meet my new criteria.......but I am so much happier. </p><p></p><p>My main commitment in life is to grow, learn & heal. As a result, change is always afoot in my life....... I outgrow much in my quest for personal awareness and spiritual growth. My oldest friend and I (from the 7th grade) parted ways a couple of years ago. It was amicable and loving, I didn't stop loving her really, I simply could no longer accept how I was treated. Over the years, she and I developed very different value systems, we had no bridge to stand on anymore. It was time to let go. </p><p></p><p>It's tough to let go, to let go of anything, especially those we've loved......I always go through a long period trying to figure out my part, what I can do, looking at all of it with a microscope because I certainly want to address my part in it as well as find ways to create a win/win. And often after a long time of soul searching, something clicks inside and I realize, this is actually over. </p><p></p><p>You've been addressing this issue for awhile now. Perhaps, as you are feeling, your friends mother's passing is that "click" within, which indicates a true end and the realization that we have <em>actually </em>moved on.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 747178, member: 13542"] Thanks for the update BBU. I understand your feelings. I've had similar experiences in the last couple of years. For me, once I learned how to set boundaries and put myself first, I developed other strategies for my self care........I made an intention to only be in connections, environments, relationships, etc. where my highly sensitive self[I][U] is considered, honored and treated with gentleness [/U][/I]. Geez. I had no idea now much that would shift my life. It became apparent to me where those pockets of inconsideration were. I literally changed my Doctor, my Dentist, my acupuncturist & massage therapist, I shifted out of various contracts with companies I felt were based in the "win at all costs" mentality so prevalent today........ and I also stepped out of almost all of my "older" friendships. I changed so much by letting go of enabling and letting go of unhealthy strategies where I abandoned myself.......so many changes have occurred in the last year, it now feels as if the life I used to live is over and a new life has arrived. In this new life, there is just no room for anything except love, gentleness, peace, truth, awareness, communication and a generous spirit.......now that I finally realized I am worth having that life, that life has shown up. I set the bar so much higher and then I had to let go of a lot that didn't meet my new criteria.......but I am so much happier. My main commitment in life is to grow, learn & heal. As a result, change is always afoot in my life....... I outgrow much in my quest for personal awareness and spiritual growth. My oldest friend and I (from the 7th grade) parted ways a couple of years ago. It was amicable and loving, I didn't stop loving her really, I simply could no longer accept how I was treated. Over the years, she and I developed very different value systems, we had no bridge to stand on anymore. It was time to let go. It's tough to let go, to let go of anything, especially those we've loved......I always go through a long period trying to figure out my part, what I can do, looking at all of it with a microscope because I certainly want to address my part in it as well as find ways to create a win/win. And often after a long time of soul searching, something clicks inside and I realize, this is actually over. You've been addressing this issue for awhile now. Perhaps, as you are feeling, your friends mother's passing is that "click" within, which indicates a true end and the realization that we have [I]actually [/I]moved on. [/QUOTE]
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