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Call from Difficult Child produces...nothing!
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<blockquote data-quote="Carol B." data-source="post: 670869" data-attributes="member: 17964"><p>Black gnat....So glad you had "me" time. I have learned over the years that after me personally taking the emotion out of "the phone calls" to let us know he is ok, not trying to fix things anymore and putting the questions on him...makes it easier. I do worry, yet I have to remember that he won't change the situation until he wants to. We have realized that it is to the point that our difficult child is ok with the way things are.</p><p></p><p>Our sons sound very similar and mine too is in Denver and is in his early thirties. The sad thing is that my son chose to leave a life with us supporting him in many ways. He had a job, a great condo he shared the rent with two other roommates, since he doesn't have a car we would be there to help take him grocery shopping, doctors appointments, etc. He has figured out how to use the system in Denver, Ca and Vegas. What is sad is now, to him, his street "family" pulls more weight than his actual family. It has gotten easier after I understood and really listened to what he was saying...because he was saying the same thing over and over again, yet not acting on it. This tells me he doesn't want to change...just <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> about what is going wrong. I worry about getting three phone calls in the middle of the night...one front he police about being arrested for doing something stupid or wanting help (got that one a couple years ago), two he is in the hospital and seriously ill ( got that one too) and three that he is no longer alive---the last one I do not want to receive, yet his way of life (that he has chosen), that is a possible reality.</p><p></p><p>This forum is a great place...we all are dealing with a situation with an adult child that hurts our heart. For me being able to share with those who understand, speaks volumes. My therapy session for my heart. One thing that has helped me is to keep a journal of things he tells me (there is so much I could and am writing a book), and I include how it makes me feel. Putting pen to paper helps release the frustration, worry, anger......If you want to talk more in depth...let me know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Carol B., post: 670869, member: 17964"] Black gnat....So glad you had "me" time. I have learned over the years that after me personally taking the emotion out of "the phone calls" to let us know he is ok, not trying to fix things anymore and putting the questions on him...makes it easier. I do worry, yet I have to remember that he won't change the situation until he wants to. We have realized that it is to the point that our difficult child is ok with the way things are. Our sons sound very similar and mine too is in Denver and is in his early thirties. The sad thing is that my son chose to leave a life with us supporting him in many ways. He had a job, a great condo he shared the rent with two other roommates, since he doesn't have a car we would be there to help take him grocery shopping, doctors appointments, etc. He has figured out how to use the system in Denver, Ca and Vegas. What is sad is now, to him, his street "family" pulls more weight than his actual family. It has gotten easier after I understood and really listened to what he was saying...because he was saying the same thing over and over again, yet not acting on it. This tells me he doesn't want to change...just :censored2: about what is going wrong. I worry about getting three phone calls in the middle of the night...one front he police about being arrested for doing something stupid or wanting help (got that one a couple years ago), two he is in the hospital and seriously ill ( got that one too) and three that he is no longer alive---the last one I do not want to receive, yet his way of life (that he has chosen), that is a possible reality. This forum is a great place...we all are dealing with a situation with an adult child that hurts our heart. For me being able to share with those who understand, speaks volumes. My therapy session for my heart. One thing that has helped me is to keep a journal of things he tells me (there is so much I could and am writing a book), and I include how it makes me feel. Putting pen to paper helps release the frustration, worry, anger......If you want to talk more in depth...let me know. [/QUOTE]
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