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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 637807" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>On the question of don't most teens make their parents crazy, the answer is not in that way. No. In fact, I was really interested when I heard an NPR show about teenagers in the U.S. and how only 20% of them really cause serious problems in the family. The stereotypical teen is not an actual typical teen. I'd say lots of teens start to exert independence by putting a lot of stock in their friends, rather than us, and many can be intermittently rude, secrretive, and a little naughty. But most are eager to grow up, go to college or get a full time job, make their way in this world. Most will follow rules, while breaking a few minor ones or a major one maybe once...and they learn from it. Most do not steal, lie constantly, refuse to go to school, demand our money, do serious drugs, run the streets at night, abuse us verbally...all the things a difficult child does because he can.</p><p></p><p>Many of us have trouble thinking of our growing children as almost adults or adults. We see them as little boys and girls who laid daisies on our table or hugged us just because or who had such a childish sweetness. But if we are on this forum, that little boy or girl is gone and we are dealing with a near adult or adult who is making terrible choices. Mental illness does not cause people to be ill-tempered and mean. Addiction does. A personality disorder does. A bad attitude does. Lots of things do. Unless the child is actually psychotic and is having hallucinations that make him think you are poisoning him, then being nasty to us is a calculated choice. Nobody HAS to be mean because of a mood disorder. I have a mood disorder. It does not cause you to abuse other people.</p><p></p><p>At any rate, if we are here, we don't have cute, sweet little boys and girls anymore. We are fighting for our sanity because of adult or near adult children are abusive towards us, breaking the law and, to sum it up, causing havoc with our peace of mind and testing our sanity. We come together to be a support system and to offer what has worked for us...how we survived. Most of us here are in various degrees of detachment and are also trying to change how we react to our difficult children when they push our buttons and try to manipulate us. We are learning. We never stop learning, even if we've learned A LOT.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart. It's not easy at all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 637807, member: 1550"] On the question of don't most teens make their parents crazy, the answer is not in that way. No. In fact, I was really interested when I heard an NPR show about teenagers in the U.S. and how only 20% of them really cause serious problems in the family. The stereotypical teen is not an actual typical teen. I'd say lots of teens start to exert independence by putting a lot of stock in their friends, rather than us, and many can be intermittently rude, secrretive, and a little naughty. But most are eager to grow up, go to college or get a full time job, make their way in this world. Most will follow rules, while breaking a few minor ones or a major one maybe once...and they learn from it. Most do not steal, lie constantly, refuse to go to school, demand our money, do serious drugs, run the streets at night, abuse us verbally...all the things a difficult child does because he can. Many of us have trouble thinking of our growing children as almost adults or adults. We see them as little boys and girls who laid daisies on our table or hugged us just because or who had such a childish sweetness. But if we are on this forum, that little boy or girl is gone and we are dealing with a near adult or adult who is making terrible choices. Mental illness does not cause people to be ill-tempered and mean. Addiction does. A personality disorder does. A bad attitude does. Lots of things do. Unless the child is actually psychotic and is having hallucinations that make him think you are poisoning him, then being nasty to us is a calculated choice. Nobody HAS to be mean because of a mood disorder. I have a mood disorder. It does not cause you to abuse other people. At any rate, if we are here, we don't have cute, sweet little boys and girls anymore. We are fighting for our sanity because of adult or near adult children are abusive towards us, breaking the law and, to sum it up, causing havoc with our peace of mind and testing our sanity. We come together to be a support system and to offer what has worked for us...how we survived. Most of us here are in various degrees of detachment and are also trying to change how we react to our difficult children when they push our buttons and try to manipulate us. We are learning. We never stop learning, even if we've learned A LOT. Hugs for your hurting heart. It's not easy at all. [/QUOTE]
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