Just an update. I have not posted a new thread in forever, mostly because there's honestly very little happening. Life is calm. DS is still gone completely from our lives. YS is settling into his new school and seems to be adjusting as well as can be expected. We do not see him at all and my wife speaks to him very little. Her contact with him is limited to inviting herself along on his still-numerous therapy appointments. She is never included or invited by either YS or her ex. Sadly, as so many of us know, the absence of our difficult children has been a blessing. Quiet and peace reign in our home now. What a relief! Without YS and her ex to contend with my wife has been much more stable and in control of her emotions. She admits that her children cause her such severe anxiety that she loses control of herself. She's working on it in her own therapy - and I am grateful. I remain here as a resource and support to others. This community has saved my sanity many times over and as long as things are settled down here, I want to give back what I have received.