Calm After The Storm

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by BloodiedButUnbowed, Feb 7, 2018.

  1. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    Just an update. I have not posted a new thread in forever, mostly because there's honestly very little happening.

    Life is calm. DS is still gone completely from our lives. YS is settling into his new school and seems to be adjusting as well as can be expected. We do not see him at all and my wife speaks to him very little. Her contact with him is limited to inviting herself along on his still-numerous therapy appointments. She is never included or invited by either YS or her ex.

    Sadly, as so many of us know, the absence of our difficult children has been a blessing. Quiet and peace reign in our home now. What a relief!

    Without YS and her ex to contend with my wife has been much more stable and in control of her emotions. She admits that her children cause her such severe anxiety that she loses control of herself. She's working on it in her own therapy - and I am grateful.

    I remain here as a resource and support to others. This community has saved my sanity many times over and as long as things are settled down here, I want to give back what I have received.
     
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  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Thanks for the update and you deserve the peace. I am so glad to hear your wife is in therapy. She has been through a lot as have you dear friend.
     
  3. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    It's almost a grief process. I'm definitely grieving for the functional loss of my daughter, the mother of the children I'm raising. And grief for her son, who is 11 and has so many problems. I grieve for how unhappy he is and his suicidal talk and wonder about if he'll grow up to be at all happy and functional. I'm sorry for your wife's estrangement from her children but happy for the respite in other areas.
     
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Peace is a wonderful thing.
     
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  5. JRC

    JRC Active Member

    HMBgal is right. There is alot of grief in what you're going through. My therapist would reframe it so that you, at the end of your session, felt the release of letting go. That would be the healthy way to reframe this. But I also think it's okay to just feel the crap of the loss.

    The other thing I want to say is that we hope this boy YS has a long life. And if that is the case, I am quite sure he will at some point realize who had his best interests at heart. xo