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CAN husband be trusted???
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 302717" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p><strong>Slightly different take on the situation. Different from what I've said before but I have been thinking about it. My skewed perspective may help - or not. So here is the story. ***WARNING IT'S LONG!!!***</strong></p><p> </p><p>Back in 2000, I was working at a local retail store. I got married to my X in 1998. X and I were NOT doing well. I was lonely. His computer was his life. Even if I walked in front of him naked he didn't notice.</p><p> </p><p>So midsummer, we're in a team meeting at the front of the store and there's a new Level 3 (4 levels, 1s were peons, 2s - like me - mid supervisors - 3s a bit higher and 4s were the head honchos. Then the store manager). Came from another retail place and he was HOT. Now I know, I was married, but not dead!</p><p> </p><p>As part of his training he had to spend time with all of the departments. I was the Level 2 in the area where we did price changes. (My Level 3 boss then is now a coworker where I am now, and one of my best friends.)</p><p> </p><p>We were working overnights, getting ready to clearance back-to-school stuff. As the supervisor, I was expected to train him. Mmmm, eye candy. Got to talking of course, and became tentative friends. Met his wife - she was 6 months pregnant with their first (his second). I had a funny feeling about her but I ignored it. Liked my new friend too much. WAY too much. (Red flag anyone?!)</p><p> </p><p>Well, X and I moved to Oklahoma at the end of November. And I was totally miserable. I was only there for 7 months but it's a big chunk of my life missing now. 28th birthday, only my (now) best friend, new friend, and parents wished me happy birthday. Not X.</p><p> </p><p>I came home in July.</p><p> </p><p>Shortly after that I found myself in a really, really strange situation. Sort of a menage a trois with my friend and his wife. And she seemed to be OK with it. Very weird. I really fell for him. Can we say rebound?! They would have a fight, she'd call me, I'd take him home to get him away from her. WAIT A SECOND. Not smart on her part.</p><p> </p><p>Couple years and a kid (theirs) later, I started working where I am now. Met husband. Drifted away from my friends. I wanted to get out of the drama (little did I know!)</p><p> </p><p>Saw them a couple of times with husband and the kids, but it was like once a year. Then, a little over 2 years ago I got a call from him. His divorce was final. A few more months went by and I got another call - he had decided to say goodbye. He was <em><strong>done</strong></em>. Talked him out of it. Made him promise to go to Jett's tournament game with us.</p><p> </p><p>Then didn't see him again for a while. Almost a year later he invited the family out... He'd gotten married again. I absolutely adore his current wife. She's very young, but then, I'm older than he is anyway.</p><p> </p><p>More time. Onyxx had her mall incident and for some reason he thought of me that day, texted. Started talking again. We reconnected - but it is so much different than before. For one, I have husband now. And I would <strong>never</strong> do anything to hurt him. Oh yeah - he is friends with my friend and his wife, same here - in fact I'm going up to help her with the kids Saturday while he's at work. Both hes.</p><p> </p><p>So. The moral of my story? Yes, this guy and I had a very intense relationship going for quite a while, a while back. Over now... But reconnecting, we're still very very good friends - but that part is gone. However. I will NOT hide this from husband. Or my friend's wife. And neither will he - because neither of us wants what we had before, and neither of us wants to hurt our spouse. So when I go up to hang out with him? husband knows. And where we are. So does his wife. Or I take the kids - and husband!</p><p> </p><p>I'm not condoning your husband's behavior. He needs to be open with you. If he is going to hide it, there is something wrong. If he's willing to be open about it, it's worth your time to listen to him. If not - you may need counseling. Alone or together.</p><p> </p><p>Lastly - <span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><strong><em>HUGS</em></strong></span></span>. This is hard. been there done that (from both sides of the fence).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 302717, member: 6705"] [B]Slightly different take on the situation. Different from what I've said before but I have been thinking about it. My skewed perspective may help - or not. So here is the story. ***WARNING IT'S LONG!!!***[/B] Back in 2000, I was working at a local retail store. I got married to my X in 1998. X and I were NOT doing well. I was lonely. His computer was his life. Even if I walked in front of him naked he didn't notice. So midsummer, we're in a team meeting at the front of the store and there's a new Level 3 (4 levels, 1s were peons, 2s - like me - mid supervisors - 3s a bit higher and 4s were the head honchos. Then the store manager). Came from another retail place and he was HOT. Now I know, I was married, but not dead! As part of his training he had to spend time with all of the departments. I was the Level 2 in the area where we did price changes. (My Level 3 boss then is now a coworker where I am now, and one of my best friends.) We were working overnights, getting ready to clearance back-to-school stuff. As the supervisor, I was expected to train him. Mmmm, eye candy. Got to talking of course, and became tentative friends. Met his wife - she was 6 months pregnant with their first (his second). I had a funny feeling about her but I ignored it. Liked my new friend too much. WAY too much. (Red flag anyone?!) Well, X and I moved to Oklahoma at the end of November. And I was totally miserable. I was only there for 7 months but it's a big chunk of my life missing now. 28th birthday, only my (now) best friend, new friend, and parents wished me happy birthday. Not X. I came home in July. Shortly after that I found myself in a really, really strange situation. Sort of a menage a trois with my friend and his wife. And she seemed to be OK with it. Very weird. I really fell for him. Can we say rebound?! They would have a fight, she'd call me, I'd take him home to get him away from her. WAIT A SECOND. Not smart on her part. Couple years and a kid (theirs) later, I started working where I am now. Met husband. Drifted away from my friends. I wanted to get out of the drama (little did I know!) Saw them a couple of times with husband and the kids, but it was like once a year. Then, a little over 2 years ago I got a call from him. His divorce was final. A few more months went by and I got another call - he had decided to say goodbye. He was [I][B]done[/B][/I]. Talked him out of it. Made him promise to go to Jett's tournament game with us. Then didn't see him again for a while. Almost a year later he invited the family out... He'd gotten married again. I absolutely adore his current wife. She's very young, but then, I'm older than he is anyway. More time. Onyxx had her mall incident and for some reason he thought of me that day, texted. Started talking again. We reconnected - but it is so much different than before. For one, I have husband now. And I would [B]never[/B] do anything to hurt him. Oh yeah - he is friends with my friend and his wife, same here - in fact I'm going up to help her with the kids Saturday while he's at work. Both hes. So. The moral of my story? Yes, this guy and I had a very intense relationship going for quite a while, a while back. Over now... But reconnecting, we're still very very good friends - but that part is gone. However. I will NOT hide this from husband. Or my friend's wife. And neither will he - because neither of us wants what we had before, and neither of us wants to hurt our spouse. So when I go up to hang out with him? husband knows. And where we are. So does his wife. Or I take the kids - and husband! I'm not condoning your husband's behavior. He needs to be open with you. If he is going to hide it, there is something wrong. If he's willing to be open about it, it's worth your time to listen to him. If not - you may need counseling. Alone or together. Lastly - [SIZE=5][COLOR=red][B][I]HUGS[/I][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE]. This is hard. been there done that (from both sides of the fence). [/QUOTE]
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