Can I refuse to have a particular staff member...


Active Member
Can I refuse to have a particular staff member at my kid's IEP meetings?

I feel the nurse at Tigger and Piglet's school is incompetent. We have had conflicts since my kids started at the school last year.

I don't believe that she contributes anything to the team. She lacks an understanding of pmeds, she just reads from the patient pamphlets without any regard to how being bipolar and cocaine-exposed impacts that. She clearly has no respect for my rights as a parent (Tigger's 1:1 aide asked her to call me before "treating" him and she refused). My children have direct orders NEVER to go see her. That if they don't feel well, they need to use one of their "call home" passes to call me and I'll come and check on them. Tigger's aide privately agrees with me and agreed to never take him to her, but to call me instead.

I don't feel I can ask the aide to get involved (other than by protecting Tigger) because she is a year-to-year hire and contracts aren't out yet for next year. And I really want her back next year!!

Do I have to tolerate her existence at our IEP and FBA meetings? Or can I get her banned?


member since 1999
I don't know "legally", but... we've never had a nurse at thank you's IEP mtgs. While I realize common sense and IEPs don't always go hand in hand :wink: I would think that if there is no related service in the IEP requiring medical treatment (ie, are medications given at school?) then she does not need to be there. in my humble opinion, aside from needing the list of medications in case of emergency, no discussion re: medications should be taking place at an IEP mtg unless there are side effects they need to know about. I simply do not discuss medications with- any IEP team because it's not in their realm of expertise and I sure don't need their "input".

I'm pretty cranky after 15 years of the whole spec thing, especially in this state, and I actually *am* going to request that Boo's school nurse not attend the next IEP mtg. Confidential information is being discussed, it's on a need to know basis, and she doesn't need to know since she does *not* provide nursing svcs for him (SD pays for a 1:1 nurse) and she does nothing but complicate matters and further handicap my son.

Another thought would be could you possibly have it written into the IEP that absolutely no "medical treatment" be administered at school? Boo's always had a health plan, a specific outline of what to do if X happens. School nurse is not part of that plan, call Mom figures prominently in the plan.

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
Triple J,

I had a school SW for wm who decided that wm's diagnosis was wrong, that the treatment plan for him was ineffective, that the medications were inappropriate & because she wasn't allowed at psychiatrist appointments she was reporting husband & I to CPS for medical neglect. She felt that it was her right to be in on decisions made for wm's mental health care.


She's was "kindly uninvited" as an IEP team member.

Having said that, I went over this woman's head, when she wouldn't deal with husband or myself, to the principal & asked the principal to get her employee in line or legal action would be taken. Threats were not going to get SW in the midst of privacy of our family.

We resumed school year with-o SW on the team; turns out the next school year said SW was "uninvited" as an employee at this school.

The nurse's job is to follow a doctor's orders - not to question.

Good luck - taking on a school employee can be tough. You don't want to come across as aggressive - there has to be a good deal of diplomacy in a situation like this.


New Member
without addressing whether or not a school nurse can be excluded (becuz I do not know, but I also did want our school nurse excluded)
there is a misconception on just what a nurse is or does or what her duties are.
Nurses are professionals in their own right. Nurses no longer simply "follow doctors orders" If a nurse has a concern re a doctors orders she is REQUIRED per nurses code of conduct and ethical standards to question things. Nurses are helf liable and accoutnable for their actions, no matter if a doctor ordered something or not, a nurse no longer is permitted to simply say "the doctor ordered it"- it does not get her off the hook if things go awry. Many a nurse has thus "saved a docs behind" by finding and questioning a docs order.
Yes, there are crummy nurses.just as there are crummy anyone in any field, and thats another issue, but a nurse does have certain responsiblities and liabilities and obligations.

A nurse is another part of the safety protections in a line of treatment provided.
Yes, I am well aware there are crummy nurses and I understand that this particular nurse might be a problem, but please be aware of what a nurses role and job is. It is NOT simply to "follow a doctors orders"- her job description in her role as a school nurse is more involved than that, entirely. But YES you may have entirely different needs than what she understands. After all she is NOT your childs primary nurse. or care provider. ANd psychiatric nursing is probably not in her list of expertise. (school nurses typical have specialized in public health nursing) But her list of responsibilities as a school nurse dictates what her responsibilities are.


Active Member
Sue - after her last adventure in treating my child I sent a formal complaint to her and copied the principal, and asked Tig's aide if she felt comfortable giving me her word that she wouldn't take him to the nurse for anything short of needing an ambulance. If she ever "treats" one of my kids again, I'm going to the school board.

Linda - She no-showed Piglet's IAP meeting last week but supposedly she was at the staff meeting they had in regards to Tigger last week. I'm going to ask the principal to "kindly uninvite" her. Meanwhile I am going to type up my own health report. Our school also feels the need to question therapist and psychiatrist. My view is you got a report with all of the information in it that you need.

Dreamer - We are a medical family - many doctors and nurses. My sister worked NICU for 15 years and saved several babies by refusing to follow a doctor's order. My complaint is with this specific woman. The nurse at the other building is wonderful (and equally appalled at this nurse's choices). In fact, if the school insists that a nurse must be present, I'm going to ask them to have the nurse from the other building come over.


New Member
jjj, i understand....and from what you previusly posted re this nurse, i do not blame you one bit. i just wanted to point out what nurses do. i would not want this specific person near my family either.
(to clarify- I was addressing this- "The nurse's job is to follow a doctor's orders - not to question."