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Can I skip Christmas this year??????
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar II" data-source="post: 108454" data-attributes="member: 4391"><p>A therapist told me once that my husband had the right (and the responsibility) to create whatever kind of relationship he wished with his child.</p><p></p><p>Is it possible for you to switch the emphasis from dreading an encounter you have no control over to setting rules ahead of time with husband regarding specific things ~ say, no yelling, no name calling, nothing he may regret in years to come?</p><p></p><p>It helped us so much to look at things that way.</p><p></p><p>For me at least, I became more an ally to, than a watchdog for, my husband.</p><p></p><p>Something tells me he is dreading this even more than you.</p><p></p><p>In our situation, husband understanding that I loved him TOO helped him to remember not to yell ~or at least, to feel badly when he caught my eye because he was breaking OUR agreement.</p><p></p><p>Fathers have so little recourse with a female child.</p><p></p><p>It was very hard for my husband, but he did absolutely fabulously.</p><p></p><p>Wishing a peaceful Christmas for you.</p><p></p><p>At the end of the day, after everyone has gone, I make tea for myself in a very thin, very expensive china cup that belonged to my grandmother. I relight the tree, and make my own special Christmas remembering.</p><p></p><p>No matter what happens during the day?</p><p></p><p>I know that at the end of it, I will have that beautiful, quiet time for myself.</p><p></p><p>Knowing I will have that time has seen me through many a holiday!</p><p></p><p>It might help you to do something like that, too.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar II, post: 108454, member: 4391"] A therapist told me once that my husband had the right (and the responsibility) to create whatever kind of relationship he wished with his child. Is it possible for you to switch the emphasis from dreading an encounter you have no control over to setting rules ahead of time with husband regarding specific things ~ say, no yelling, no name calling, nothing he may regret in years to come? It helped us so much to look at things that way. For me at least, I became more an ally to, than a watchdog for, my husband. Something tells me he is dreading this even more than you. In our situation, husband understanding that I loved him TOO helped him to remember not to yell ~or at least, to feel badly when he caught my eye because he was breaking OUR agreement. Fathers have so little recourse with a female child. It was very hard for my husband, but he did absolutely fabulously. Wishing a peaceful Christmas for you. At the end of the day, after everyone has gone, I make tea for myself in a very thin, very expensive china cup that belonged to my grandmother. I relight the tree, and make my own special Christmas remembering. No matter what happens during the day? I know that at the end of it, I will have that beautiful, quiet time for myself. Knowing I will have that time has seen me through many a holiday! It might help you to do something like that, too. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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Can I skip Christmas this year??????
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