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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Can I trust her when she says she wants to change?
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 673757" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Her first 10 months may have left her with some attachment issues, as well. Finding a therapist who has specific knowledge of adoption issues and attachment would be helpful. Most therapists have NO idea how to handle this.</p><p> </p><p>Some of the "stubborn and oppositional" may be from not developing secure attachment early. She won't be an extreme case, as she was adopted fairly young, but the first three years are critical in developing healthy attachment, and her first year may not have been conducive to that. Handling a kid with attachment challenges is totally different from handling a normally-developing but oppositional kid. What works for the latter would destroy the former.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps she is trying to solve her own problems - because on some level she learned that she has to. Not that she doesn't trust you, but that on some internal, intrinsic level, she may not fully trust <em>anybody</em>.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 673757, member: 11791"] Her first 10 months may have left her with some attachment issues, as well. Finding a therapist who has specific knowledge of adoption issues and attachment would be helpful. Most therapists have NO idea how to handle this. Some of the "stubborn and oppositional" may be from not developing secure attachment early. She won't be an extreme case, as she was adopted fairly young, but the first three years are critical in developing healthy attachment, and her first year may not have been conducive to that. Handling a kid with attachment challenges is totally different from handling a normally-developing but oppositional kid. What works for the latter would destroy the former. Perhaps she is trying to solve her own problems - because on some level she learned that she has to. Not that she doesn't trust you, but that on some internal, intrinsic level, she may not fully trust [I]anybody[/I]. [/QUOTE]
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Can I trust her when she says she wants to change?
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