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<blockquote data-quote="Liahona" data-source="post: 598767"><p>Wow. If you do unplug the modem. I'd take it out of the house. Just let him stew for a few hours with out it. (You might want to call the police before hand and tell them what you are doing. Then when difficult child calls them they will be prepared.)</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 said something about how he thinks "Why should I?" He wasn't being sassy. It was a legitimate question. He wanted to know what he was going to get by being good. What was he going to be paid? That is how my Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids think. Very literal I do X then I get Y. I have to make it more rewarding for them to be good than to be bad. For difficult child 1 this includes daily behavior charts with rewards he really wants. If I want him to work at home I have to set up Minecraft time. If you do X number hours of work you get Y minuets of minecraft. I have to be very specific on what kind of job I want done, what attitude it must be done with, and what time he has to finish by. I have to be very strict on all of those or he doesn't know where the boundaries are and his anxiety (and behavior) skyrocket. With difficult child 1 having his therapist or case manager talk to him and help set up all this is very helpful. He respects them much more than he does me. </p><p></p><p>difficult child 2 and difficult child 3 also earn minecraft and ipad time. Again it is if you do x then you get y. They have to see the reward/payment. At the same time we do go over how it feels good to do nice things for others, it is nice to have a clean house, we have to do dishes if we want to eat. But they don't really understand yet. Eventually I'm hopeful they will. </p><p></p><p>So, why should your difficult child act good?</p><p></p><p>If you do set up a behavior plan for him it might be good to role play a few times what will happen when he doesn't earn the reward. For example, if you act nice for 1 hr (define nice) then you get 1 hr of ipod. If you .... (scream, stomp, ect...) then you will be told "No, you did not earn it this time. You can try again next time." Then you have the choice of (and list things he likes to do.) Still be prepared for him to not be happy when he doesn't earn it. If he physically hurts you can you leave until he calms down? Or is there a place he can stay for a few hours until he calms down?</p><p></p><p>Sorry, its late here and I'm rambling a bit.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liahona, post: 598767"] Wow. If you do unplug the modem. I'd take it out of the house. Just let him stew for a few hours with out it. (You might want to call the police before hand and tell them what you are doing. Then when difficult child calls them they will be prepared.) difficult child 1 said something about how he thinks "Why should I?" He wasn't being sassy. It was a legitimate question. He wanted to know what he was going to get by being good. What was he going to be paid? That is how my Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids think. Very literal I do X then I get Y. I have to make it more rewarding for them to be good than to be bad. For difficult child 1 this includes daily behavior charts with rewards he really wants. If I want him to work at home I have to set up Minecraft time. If you do X number hours of work you get Y minuets of minecraft. I have to be very specific on what kind of job I want done, what attitude it must be done with, and what time he has to finish by. I have to be very strict on all of those or he doesn't know where the boundaries are and his anxiety (and behavior) skyrocket. With difficult child 1 having his therapist or case manager talk to him and help set up all this is very helpful. He respects them much more than he does me. difficult child 2 and difficult child 3 also earn minecraft and ipad time. Again it is if you do x then you get y. They have to see the reward/payment. At the same time we do go over how it feels good to do nice things for others, it is nice to have a clean house, we have to do dishes if we want to eat. But they don't really understand yet. Eventually I'm hopeful they will. So, why should your difficult child act good? If you do set up a behavior plan for him it might be good to role play a few times what will happen when he doesn't earn the reward. For example, if you act nice for 1 hr (define nice) then you get 1 hr of ipod. If you .... (scream, stomp, ect...) then you will be told "No, you did not earn it this time. You can try again next time." Then you have the choice of (and list things he likes to do.) Still be prepared for him to not be happy when he doesn't earn it. If he physically hurts you can you leave until he calms down? Or is there a place he can stay for a few hours until he calms down? Sorry, its late here and I'm rambling a bit. [/QUOTE]
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