I'm having such a hard time lately. Our older difficult child (19) has flunked out of college and has an entitled, narcissistic attitude through the roof, and our younger difficult child (12) is on the autism spectrum and presenting some extremely challenging behaviors. This post is about the younger one (Bubby), though, as our older difficult child is not living at home right now. As I mentioned, he has an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), and he is also ADHD and quite difficult (stubborn/uncooperative/disrespectful). Lately, it has become so bad that our marriage and health are suffering. Basically, every single day, we are faced with combative behavior from our youngest. These episodes can last for hours at a time, and there is no way to reason or discipline, it seems. Case in point: About a week ago, Bubby decided to clean his i-pod with Windex. He didn't intend to harm the device, but the Windex seeped under the screen and caused damage. Fortunately, I had purchased the protection plan with it, and the i-pod was replaced. However, while his games and apps, etc. are able to be transferred to the new device again, any upgrades for these games that were purchased previously, cannot. Bubby blames my hubby for not telling him not to use the Windex. So, he writes up "tickets" on sticky notes, charging us money for our "crimes" and sticks them all over the house. He really believes we should pay him the fines, which, of course, he will then use to purchase the upgrades he lost when the device was replaced. He gets stuck on this and cannot shift gears. He perseverates for hours at a time, yelling and blaming and talking sassy. If he is upstairs, he bangs hard on the floors, admittedly to upset us. Otherwise, he follows us around crabbing and/or screams in another room while we are preparing dinner or talking, etc., generally just making everything miserable. Every day and every night he goes on and on and on about how this is all my hubby's fault (it's not, because he didn't allow or even know that Bubby had used the Windex until after the fact). We tell him to put the sticky notes back and to stop blaming and be happy that he has a new i-pod and all of his games, but we can't afford to purchase all new upgrades right now (maybe a little at a time for good behavior). He wants what he wants right now! He refuses to put the sticky notes back and refuses to stop ranting. Last night, this went on for about four hours. Then, this morning, he started again with me (my hubby is at work), and no matter what, he won't stop. If I ignore him, he continues to put sticky notes all over the place and yell out loud periodically. He has also drawn an invisible line in our living room, which he says I cannot cross, and when I do, he screams at me. I gave him a choice that he could either stop with the sticky notes and blaming or give up his i-pod for an hour. I set the timer for ten minutes, giving him ten minutes to throw away the sticky notes and drop this. Of course, he refused, and the timer went off while he sat there. So, I told him he would need to hand over the i-pod for an hour, and he refused saying he would call the police if I try to take it from him. He will fight me physically, I'm sure. He has hit me many times, and he is getting bigger, so I'm not sure it is a good idea to get into a physical battle over this at this moment, when he is off the deep end angry. So, here I am on this board, desperately seeking understanding and advice. Do I go forward with physically fighting him to take the i-pod away? Do I try some other sort of consequence? NOTHING really makes a difference anyway. We have tried so many things. Even the in-home therapists we had in the past really struggled, and nothing worked. It's like he is programmed to behave this way, and there is no way to deprogram him. Seriously, I am at rock bottom. He takes no responsibility, does not respect us, blames everybody else for his problems, and has no empathy for anybody. Every day is a huge challenge, and lately, it has worsened. He seems so mean and hateful, even. My husband was in tears last night. Bubby kept banging on the floors and walls and when confronted, stated that he wanted to punish his dad. After 10 p.m., when I thought he had finally fallen asleep, I went to turn off the light, and he sat bolt upright in bed and asked where his dad was so that he could bother him more. I am not sleeping or eating well, and we have no life and no relationships outside of this dysfunction. Consequences are a joke, because our son does not modify his behavior in the face of consequences. He wants CONTROL over everything. In terms of medications, Bubby is taking Focalin XR for the ADHD and Intuniv to help with the moodiness as the day wears on. Typically, we go through a rough period of irritability in the late afternoon, as the stimulant leaves his system, however, right now, he is very irritable and it is mid-day. I can't stand my life. This is just one example of an issue we're having, and there are many, many more. There is no peace and no rest. We have no respite and no help from family. It is so glaring that there is something completely wrong with Bubby, and I'm heartbroken. This is unacceptable. Sometimes I think I would rather be in prison (not joking). He's downstairs screaming at me right now. Is there any hope?