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Can we discuss "in the best interests of the child?"
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 542391" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>There are several challenges at play here.</p><p></p><p>1) In law, the assumption is "innocent until proven guilty", which is why without legally admissable evidence, "mom" is assumed to be a fit parent. (as is "dad") Court doesn't have a choice on this point.</p><p></p><p>2) Assumptions about caregivers and breadwinners. Yes, it's still wide-spread. The "system" assumes it is easier for "mom" to be the primary care-giver and for "dad" to be the primary breadwinner. Being primary breadwinner, in theory, makes it difficult to have the time available to also be primary care-giver. (don't ask "the system" how single parents do it)</p><p></p><p>3) Age of the child. In many places, at a certain age, the child has the right to speak up in these situations, and to be considered in the whole picture. Here, it's about age 12. If the child prefers to live with one parent over the other, in the absense of documentation that would preclude that placement, the court either "will" or "should" give strong weight to the request. (Little S isn't old enough for this to come into play)</p><p></p><p>4) Educational and/or medical consideration. Some places are putting more weight on this. Which parent can provide stability, consistency with school and medical teams (rather than bouncing around), rapport with teachers, etc. But, Little S isn't in school yet.</p><p></p><p>5) Extended family. Isn't "supposed" to be a major consideration, but often is. Which parent has the most local support? A "dad" who has support for his custody bid from both his and X's parents... tends to get it. But if "mom" has the support of her parent(s), and S doesn't have local support (NOT your fault at all), there is less evidence to skew the decision away from the "norm".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 542391, member: 11791"] There are several challenges at play here. 1) In law, the assumption is "innocent until proven guilty", which is why without legally admissable evidence, "mom" is assumed to be a fit parent. (as is "dad") Court doesn't have a choice on this point. 2) Assumptions about caregivers and breadwinners. Yes, it's still wide-spread. The "system" assumes it is easier for "mom" to be the primary care-giver and for "dad" to be the primary breadwinner. Being primary breadwinner, in theory, makes it difficult to have the time available to also be primary care-giver. (don't ask "the system" how single parents do it) 3) Age of the child. In many places, at a certain age, the child has the right to speak up in these situations, and to be considered in the whole picture. Here, it's about age 12. If the child prefers to live with one parent over the other, in the absense of documentation that would preclude that placement, the court either "will" or "should" give strong weight to the request. (Little S isn't old enough for this to come into play) 4) Educational and/or medical consideration. Some places are putting more weight on this. Which parent can provide stability, consistency with school and medical teams (rather than bouncing around), rapport with teachers, etc. But, Little S isn't in school yet. 5) Extended family. Isn't "supposed" to be a major consideration, but often is. Which parent has the most local support? A "dad" who has support for his custody bid from both his and X's parents... tends to get it. But if "mom" has the support of her parent(s), and S doesn't have local support (NOT your fault at all), there is less evidence to skew the decision away from the "norm". [/QUOTE]
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Can we discuss "in the best interests of the child?"
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