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Parent Emeritus
Can we talk about what boundaries really mean?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 627283" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I've had 22 years of therapy since I was 23 years old, a good portion of it to get over my childhood. As I've progressed along the road of health, I've had to detach from many family members. Each one of them was literally a casualty of my growth and health. If I did not detach, the nature of the connection shifted dramatically as we attempted to form a new connection that was healthy for ME. I've done that with quite a number of people over the years. I think it is a byproduct of healing.</p><p></p><p>It is not anyone's fault, there is no blame or judgement, no superiority or righteousness..............I think it is simple, you do not allow <strong><u>any</u> </strong>human being to treat you without respect, honor, compassion and kindness.</p><p></p><p>Growing up in a dysfunctional family disrupts one's abilities to recognize that because the very people who should be caring for you and teaching you those boundaries are themselves wounded.</p><p></p><p>Most of my healthy friends who come from "normal" families already knew that and did not get involved in abusive or hurtful relationships, they had their boundaries intact from childhood. I didn't. I had to learn that. And, thankfully, after many mistakes of judgement, I have.</p><p></p><p>My circle is considerably smaller. <em>And a whole lot safer.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 627283, member: 13542"] I've had 22 years of therapy since I was 23 years old, a good portion of it to get over my childhood. As I've progressed along the road of health, I've had to detach from many family members. Each one of them was literally a casualty of my growth and health. If I did not detach, the nature of the connection shifted dramatically as we attempted to form a new connection that was healthy for ME. I've done that with quite a number of people over the years. I think it is a byproduct of healing. It is not anyone's fault, there is no blame or judgement, no superiority or righteousness..............I think it is simple, you do not allow [B][U]any[/U] [/B]human being to treat you without respect, honor, compassion and kindness. Growing up in a dysfunctional family disrupts one's abilities to recognize that because the very people who should be caring for you and teaching you those boundaries are themselves wounded. Most of my healthy friends who come from "normal" families already knew that and did not get involved in abusive or hurtful relationships, they had their boundaries intact from childhood. I didn't. I had to learn that. And, thankfully, after many mistakes of judgement, I have. My circle is considerably smaller. [I]And a whole lot safer.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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Can we talk about what boundaries really mean?
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