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Parent Emeritus
Can we talk about what boundaries really mean?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627305" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Why would it be necessary to pull away from healthy family relationships? Sure, healthy young adults want to be independent, but they still maintain warm bonds with family members who are kind and loving (in both directions). This is different...it hurts and it isn't about both of you growing. It's about one person pulling away to grow while the other person...stays in the same...sad...place.</p><p></p><p>In my case, and I assume in RE's case, it meant not really trusting many members of ones own family. Letting Jumper spread her wings hurts me sometimes because I'll miss her so much, but at the same time I have pride and am so sure she will do well. Letting 36 go or Julie when she did drugs was gut-wrenching and did not make me feel positive because I was so sure neither would end up anywhere good. Both made me cry. I was fortunate that I was wrong about Julie. Deciding to never again have a close relationship with my sister leaves me feeling cold and angry and betrayed by who I thought she was...I am angry at her for not living up to the person I thought she had been.</p><p></p><p>Why had it taken me twenty cut offs from her AND the use of police to shut me down for me to see that she is a major difficult child and a drain on my serenity?</p><p></p><p>There are different types of letting go...I guess I'm just venting. I'm still in deep shock to learn who my sister really is so I'm rambling....sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627305, member: 1550"] Why would it be necessary to pull away from healthy family relationships? Sure, healthy young adults want to be independent, but they still maintain warm bonds with family members who are kind and loving (in both directions). This is different...it hurts and it isn't about both of you growing. It's about one person pulling away to grow while the other person...stays in the same...sad...place. In my case, and I assume in RE's case, it meant not really trusting many members of ones own family. Letting Jumper spread her wings hurts me sometimes because I'll miss her so much, but at the same time I have pride and am so sure she will do well. Letting 36 go or Julie when she did drugs was gut-wrenching and did not make me feel positive because I was so sure neither would end up anywhere good. Both made me cry. I was fortunate that I was wrong about Julie. Deciding to never again have a close relationship with my sister leaves me feeling cold and angry and betrayed by who I thought she was...I am angry at her for not living up to the person I thought she had been. Why had it taken me twenty cut offs from her AND the use of police to shut me down for me to see that she is a major difficult child and a drain on my serenity? There are different types of letting go...I guess I'm just venting. I'm still in deep shock to learn who my sister really is so I'm rambling....sorry. [/QUOTE]
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Can we talk about what boundaries really mean?
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