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Parent Emeritus
Can we talk about what boundaries really mean?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 627307" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I understand what you are talking about, MWM, and the differences you describe. I know the relationship with your sister is not healthy for you at all and it's not the same thing as what I was describing about my mother and me. I was too attached to my mother for way too long---I was well into my 30s. </p><p></p><p>I was just seeing, through your discussion, that we all have to detach and create healthier boundaries in varying degrees from all people from childhood, in order to grow up. </p><p></p><p>And detachment at its best is not cold or distant, but warm and loving....but detached. Respecting boundaries and allowing other people to be who they are. Giving space. Not codependent. When both people are healthy, it can be a much better relationship than before. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. Like you said, you are seeing something that you kind of knew all along, but now are seeing it in full living color. And that is so painful because after all, she is your sister. </p><p></p><p>Big hugs to you tonight. You are a wonderful wise person who gives so much. Take care of YOU, MWM, you are so worth it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 627307, member: 17542"] I understand what you are talking about, MWM, and the differences you describe. I know the relationship with your sister is not healthy for you at all and it's not the same thing as what I was describing about my mother and me. I was too attached to my mother for way too long---I was well into my 30s. I was just seeing, through your discussion, that we all have to detach and create healthier boundaries in varying degrees from all people from childhood, in order to grow up. And detachment at its best is not cold or distant, but warm and loving....but detached. Respecting boundaries and allowing other people to be who they are. Giving space. Not codependent. When both people are healthy, it can be a much better relationship than before. I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. Like you said, you are seeing something that you kind of knew all along, but now are seeing it in full living color. And that is so painful because after all, she is your sister. Big hugs to you tonight. You are a wonderful wise person who gives so much. Take care of YOU, MWM, you are so worth it. [/QUOTE]
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Can we talk about what boundaries really mean?
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