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The Watercooler
Cannot STAND the manipulators in this family.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 435758" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>If you are handing out free airplane tickets, why not give them to us? You LIKE us! I am a wonderful houseguest - I will bake for you from scratch AND clean up afterwards!!!! All sorts of stuff, I can bake amazing things!!</p><p></p><p>WHY would you agree to invite them when you don't LIKE them and don't trust them to be alone iwth your kids! I know there is some pressure because they will say awful things to the other inlaws, but maybe it is time to sit and have an honest talk with husband about how their actions make you feel. And then tell tehm that this year they are not welcome at the 4th, or you will contact them closer to the date when it fits YOUR schedule to invite them. I would use the economy as a reason to stop funding so many, if any, of their trips because it mostly seems liek they don't want to come see you, they just want you to pay for them to gamble. </p><p></p><p>I know the pressure of inlaws, etc... but maybe if you and husband can talk honestly you will find that he is not liking the pressure and would welcome some excuse to have them not around and not calling expecting money so often. Does your husband realize taht many families do not fund the grandparents trips to do anything, much less to go squander money gambling? Is it time to figure out what you <em>want</em> to give them and limit your gifts/contributions to only those things you truly desire to give them, eliminating those things they pressure you into giving?</p><p></p><p>It is hard to do this, esp for the child they raised with the expectation that when he was an adult he would HAVE to give them these things. But after a efw months or a year when things have settled and boundaries are becoming "usual" it feels so much better and you can get a lot closer to enjoying them instead of dreading them.</p><p></p><p>Whatever you choose to do, I will support you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 435758, member: 1233"] If you are handing out free airplane tickets, why not give them to us? You LIKE us! I am a wonderful houseguest - I will bake for you from scratch AND clean up afterwards!!!! All sorts of stuff, I can bake amazing things!! WHY would you agree to invite them when you don't LIKE them and don't trust them to be alone iwth your kids! I know there is some pressure because they will say awful things to the other inlaws, but maybe it is time to sit and have an honest talk with husband about how their actions make you feel. And then tell tehm that this year they are not welcome at the 4th, or you will contact them closer to the date when it fits YOUR schedule to invite them. I would use the economy as a reason to stop funding so many, if any, of their trips because it mostly seems liek they don't want to come see you, they just want you to pay for them to gamble. I know the pressure of inlaws, etc... but maybe if you and husband can talk honestly you will find that he is not liking the pressure and would welcome some excuse to have them not around and not calling expecting money so often. Does your husband realize taht many families do not fund the grandparents trips to do anything, much less to go squander money gambling? Is it time to figure out what you [I]want[/I] to give them and limit your gifts/contributions to only those things you truly desire to give them, eliminating those things they pressure you into giving? It is hard to do this, esp for the child they raised with the expectation that when he was an adult he would HAVE to give them these things. But after a efw months or a year when things have settled and boundaries are becoming "usual" it feels so much better and you can get a lot closer to enjoying them instead of dreading them. Whatever you choose to do, I will support you. [/QUOTE]
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Cannot STAND the manipulators in this family.
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